Stethoscopes and Dog Tags

Serious Lazy Blogger

2012-01-07T22:24:00.000-06:00

I started this blog over a year ago, I was a regular blogger at first. Then deployment started....I stopped writing. I run a page for our brigade on Facebook and it takes up a lot of my time. I miss blogging though, I miss reading everyone's blogs. I wish I could remember to get back in it more often. I was enjoying it, and blogging was a great escape for me. It allowed me to express myself, and learn more about others.

My neck is fine now, after my follow up w/ the orthopedic doctor he was not 100% sold that I truly had a fracture. He said if it was a fracture it was very stable and fairly small. He gave me the option of a MRI to find out for sure but he said it was unnecessary due to the way the CT Scan looked. I am thankful that I am okay though, I have minor pain every now and again, especially when I work over 10 hours:/ I have to take frequent "sit and chart" breaks. I am hoping the pain subsides soon.

I just wrapped up my 3rd semester of nursing school! I am so excited to say I start my 4th and FINAL semester in less than a week. I am waiting to get a letter of approval to test for the NCLEX-PN (LPN Boards). I am taking boards for LPN so I can get a idea of what it will be like and possibly get a job to work during my last semester.

I miss y'all! I really do, Thursday starts my last crazy part of nursing school....in May I will be free! Only for a little while, I have to go back and get a BSN then possibly a masters or maybe even NP!

Horses Are Not a Good Idea

2011-11-13T17:23:00.000-06:00

Wednesday evening after clinical a friend and I decided to go riding. We had been doing this for about a month regularly. We did it to relax and get away for awhile. We headed back to the barn because it was starting to get dark out. I seen the tail end of something white and furry and big running through the woods. Mistie seen it to, we gave our horses a tap so they would speed up and we could see what this animal was before it headed into the woods. Unfortunately our horses both got spooked. Mine took off a dead run, I was scared. Adrenaline was pumping through me. The next thing I know, I am on the ground and I am confused. I can't see anything for the life of me...I can hear a bunch of people talking and they were talking about me. Mistie rushed me to the ER that night, where the ER doctor said I had a concussion and my CT scan results were fine, she let me go home to be monitored every two hours. I slept fine throughout the night, that next morning every time I would stand up I would get this splitting headache and I would get really nauseated and dizzy. My sister in law made me go to a different ER. They repeated the head and neck CT and did a x-ray of my right hip bone due to pain. I waited in the room for what felt like forever with a C-Collar on waiting on the doctor to come back in and tell me the results. She came in, I was told I had a fractured C-2 Vertebrae in my neck. My world got really small at that point. I was scared, she told me they were shipping me out to a bigger hospital. Somewhere where they could deal with my neck, I needed an orthopedic doctor. Once I got to OU Medical Center in the city the doctor came in and did a neurological assessment on me. He was surprised I could feel fine and he teased me about it, he looked over my scans and decided no surgery was needed, but that I would be in a neck brace for roughly 6 weeks. He told me I was lucky 97% percent of people with a "Hangmans Fracture" either die instantly or are paralyzed. God wasn't through with me....my husband comes in really really soon for RR. I am so ready. It's a bitter sweet moment to have my husband back, even for a short amount of time. I am so thankful to be alive today to tell the story, I am thankful I can walk and I am thankful I can go on to nursing school like a normal person with a neck brace. With a little bit of persistence I will be fine....

Crappy Blogger

2011-11-03T21:43:00.000-05:00

I have been the worlds crappiest blogger this year. It has been hectic. I am in my third semester of nursing school as most of you know! We just finished up endocrine unit (which I made an A on the unit exam). We are now in orthopedics related stuff. So my husband comes home in XX amount of days! It is really soon, I am so excited and I am getting so anxious with each day that passes. On RR we plan on just laying around the house a lot and doing things day by day! We are so ready! After RR I will wrap up this semester then I will spend my Christmas break studying to take the LPN boards. I figured why not, my husband is deployed and I don't have much else to do with my time. I will graduate in May and then we are going on vacation to Hawaii and I plan to take the NCLEX-RN sometime in June. Then we will be moving pending on if I pass the first time or not. NCLEX terrifies me, it's what I have been practicing for and I still have a semester to get better! It is super scary thinking that I may be a real nurse one day, on my own, and taking care of my own patients all by myself! I am so ready to start the new chapter in my life. Well enough for now, I have to get off here and do 100 NCLEX questions. It's an assignment for school. We usually just do the questions on our own but this new teacher makes us do them as a grade. It's better than taking a quiz in class I guess. Night y'all!

It's Been Awhile.....

2011-09-12T18:42:00.000-05:00

I am so sorry for being so unactive for that last few months. This blog was supposed to be for deployment and I totally abandoned it! (Insert sad face here). Life has been hectic crazy.

I am in my 3rd semester of nursing school! Yippie! We just wrapped psych up and we are moving on to OB! I am terrified of OB and I am officially afraid of having kids.

Let's see. What's new with me. Hubby is still gone, has been gone for well over 6 months now, out of those 6 months I have seen him a rough 6 days. It sucks. RR isn't for another few months. I hate this so bad, I have been in a funk lately. He went on his first mission recently and it's killing me. I haven't heard from him lately but I checked the bank account and he has spent money somwhere today so I know he is okay. I swear I am not a creeper wife that counts every penny hubby spends;) I check it a few times a week anyways cause some soldiers have had issues recently with $500 plus just going unaccounted for and they are pretty sure it had something to do with the debit card reader at the vending machines:/ So scary!

I graduate in about 8 months from nursing school and in around 3-4 months I will be eligible to go ahead and take the LPN boards. I am getting nervous about it but I decided to take LPN boards so I can get a idea of what boards will be like. I am so ready to just move on with my life and have my hubby back.

All my friends are getting RR and it's killing me to hear them brag about it and I am slightly jealous of them. I know I shouldn't be because I will get my turn and ours is perfect timing, I will be out of school for a week during his RR. I can't help it and I hate being envious! I just keep thinking to myself that their RR will end and they will have so many months to go before they see their love again, I will only have a few months to go after he leaves. I am trying to be positive but it's damn hard.

I have been so scared to even go home after school, I am terrified that I will get a knock at the door and it kills me not knowing where hubby is or what he is doing. I am so ready for some sort of communication that way I know he is alright. I know, I know...no news is good news.

Anyways, again I apologize for abandoning y'all! I am so sorry for not keeping up to date with my life! I have missed y'all and I hope to post a new one each week! I still need to get an idea for an awesome giveaway since I am up to 50 readers.

Adulthood

2011-07-22T02:13:00.000-05:00

Here I go kicking and screaming my way into adulthood...I am officially 20. No longer a teen, I have been very mature for the last three years. Working most of it, paying bills, in school. I graduate from nursing school in around 10 months. I am shocked at all I have accomplished so far. Way to go me, I give myself a huge pat on the back!

ALL MILITARY WIVES NEEDED

2011-07-17T04:07:00.000-05:00

Since when did it become okay to post pictures on Facebook and put the camp location as the caption. I mean come on, this facebook page has posted pictures of the firing range at a specific camp in Kuwait. They have posted numerous photos of pictures of the camp itself.

Am I not right? This is breaking OPSEC? I posted on their wall asking for them to enlighten me on why this was not breaking OPSEC and they deleted my post. Not once, but three times. I have emailed the state public affairs officer for the ARNG and I will be calling him Monday.

I wouldn't have been so mad if they would have just explained it to me or gave me a reason or took the caption off, but no...I'm sure it's some wife running this page and she prob thinks that since it is just Kuwait that it is okay.

I have had several SOLDIERS and their WIVES emailing me and asking me what can be done about this page. Many of the soldiers are in Kuwait and they advised us and all of our family to stay off the page and NOT like it.

My question to the military wives out there...is it okay to post the camp location? We were told in the 38738793 briefings that you should just stick with country, we were also told that it was okay to give a region for example, SE Afghanistan or Northern Kuwait etc. I just don't want to be in the wrong here and I have a STRONG feeling that something is going to be said to my husband about me speaking out for OPSEC. This isn't the first time that a soldier would be repreminded for something his wife do or say. It happens all the time, especially in our unit. I have a dear friend that confided in the FRG leader about her worries with her husbands pay and she went back and told his commander and he got smoked for an hour for it. I seen the original email and it was NOT rude whatsoever. I am through with the military. I am tired of all the drama that comes with. This deployment has been nothing but a pain and my husband is ashamed to be going with this unit, he is counting down till he gets out. He loved the military at one time and now they have ruined it for him. I really hope noone that I know reads my blog but I don't give a flying FU** right now. These are my feelings, and I am entitled to them.

Anyways, now that I am off that tangent..is it okay to post camp locations?

Birthday/Anniversary

2011-07-08T23:22:00.000-05:00

Ahh. Last month I never went in to get my Depo shot because I don't really see the point of taking it while he is gone and plus I haven't had a period in roughly 3 years. That can NOT be healthy at my age. I have never had kids and we have decided to start trying once he is back and I am a licensced RN. I am excited but scared. Anyways...on to my story. Today I wake up from my nap crying for no reason, I cried when I did the dishes, I cried while cleaning the bathroom. I am just a wreck. I had no reason to be sad. Hubby did nothing to me, I just cried and I couldn't stop really. I really hope my horomones straighten out sometime soon because I cannot be dealing with this for much longer.

Also- I have a dermatologist appt on the 19th. I found a black spot on my birthmark that is on my back. I am worried about it because I always "inspect" it to make sure it's not changing shape, color, size. The doctor is going to do a biopsy of it, please say a prayer for me. I am really worried.

On to the topic of my blog entry! My birthday is on the 22 of this month! I have NO idea what I want! I always do this right around my birthday time! I told my family that I would be happy with some itunes cards. Hubby refuses to buy me anything cause he is in Kuwait and he doesn't have any idea of what I want plus he is to lazy to order it. Our anniversary is on the 1 of August and I have already ordered him a Iphone dock/alarm clock. I couldn't ship it to the APO address so I had it shipped here, once I get it I am going to stick it in his totally awesome anniversary box that I decorated!

I am just moody, emotional, and I want HIM to buy me a damn present. Is that to much to ask for? He has never bought me a present on his own besides our first Christmas we had together as a married couple. It's just irritating, like he doesn't really know my likes/dislikes. Ha, here I go with the emotions. I am going to show some pics of his box that I made for our anniversary. I think it is the best box I have ever made!

Our wedding colors were purple,

I am sure I will have a very

embarrased hubby.

It's the thought that counts though,

right?

Total Vent

2011-07-05T01:12:00.001-05:00

*Warning* This is a total vent in order to keep my sanity.

A few days ago I was complaining publicly on facebook. Well, I guess I have a cousin that checks up on me. Today I found this on her wall...I hear so many spouses gripe about their military member being deployed and these wars and they can't wait until their time in the military is over. This made me wonder where we would be today if the wives of our ForeFathers had griped that they were spending too much time away home and to leave this foolishness of independence and war to someone else?
It was totally geared towards me. I sent her an email telling her how I feel. I am hurt that she thinks she knows what I DEAL with. This deployment has been nothing but heck. So MANY things have changed. He is now in a different country than he originally was supposed to go to. He has had a last minute MOS change. Blah, blah, blah.

I was so mad because I had posted on it telling her about some things I and I didn't mind him being gone because "Courtesy of the red, white, and blue our savings account was going to quadruple, and we would be sitting in Hawaii this time next year." She deleted my comment after several people went through and ran their mouths about wives like "us".
She has never once worked a day in her life, her husband has never been deployed, he has been stationed in Korea for a year but come on, we all know how Korea is. She claims to be a Christian but she passes judgement so quickly among people. I am just tired of her acting like I have to be happy all the time. I have the right to have feelings and opinions about this war and deployment. I wish I could go into more details about this but unfortunately I can't. The deployment has been screwed up since day one though. I should have known better than to agree for deployment right smack dab in the middle of nursing school! AHH. I could pull my hair out.

Here is what I posted as a note on facebook publicily for the whole friends list to view...
As a matter of fact I am proud of my husband, I appreciate everything HE sacrafices for his country and me, but I am allowed my feelings about this war and I will speak them. I am not a wife that keeps her opinions to herself like they did way back when. I am not a tree hugger by any means, but have you ever stopped and thought about what we get out of these wars? We have lost over 5,000 soldiers? Was that worth it? Not in my opinion.
On a plus note, I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me and I damn sure don't need anyones help. I can handle this on my own, I have been doing it for months now. Most people couldn't walk in my shoes for a day. Until you have been in my position and been through what I have then don't pass judgement.

Why can I not break down for just a minute? Are we expected to not have feelings? I just feel as though every civilian has been so judgemental towards me. I don't expect any help from anyone, I got this. I am doing a pretty damn good job of it to. I have cried maybe 3 times total since he has been gone. I have gone off my anxiety/depression medications in the last month and a half. I have kept up with all the bills, pluse paid off extra stuff! I don't need help and I am tired of people thinking that I do. I don't want help, I want to prove that I can do it on my own. For one, the ones that said they would be there for me have proved themselves wrong in just a few short months. No one calls and checks on me, I didn't get invited to ONE single family thing for fourth of July. His family rarely calls me, I am the one to call them usually. Do I expect them to call? Well, they should probablly call me. My husband would want that. Do I really care? yes, my feelings have been hurt some. Oh well, life goes on. Just goes to show you can't trust anyone but yourself and your spouse. (In my case, I do trust my spouse with everything I have)

I just really don't know anymore. I am in a IDGAF mood and I am tired of the world acting like I want something. I am a cheery person to be around, I don't complain to much, and I am a damn good friend! Maybe I am in the wrong for flipping out about the status but I know how she is, she aimed that directly at me.

PS I am guessing the reason why the wives didn't bitch and nag about their men being gone back in the day was because they had no voice. They took care of the house, and kids. Now us 21st century milspouses, cook,clean,pay bills, go to school,work...etc. Are we supposed to be happy hunky dory when our husbands are deployed on a unneccesary deployment? Even our senators have questioned why we are doing this?

There. I feel 100% better. Now that I have this off my chest I can talk to my husband about something other than drama the next time I get to talk to him.

Edit** Please don't think I am fine with him being away because of the money. He is making just a tad over what he was making while he was gone. He volunteered because he felt like it was his job, plus we wanted to save up money. I would rather him be home, but we started this thing and we are going to finish this thing with a good savings account and a vacation to Hawaii. I just didn't want anyone to think I was a $$ hungry wife, because believe me...the money is just not worth it in my eyes, and if it was about the money I definately wouldn't go after a cute soldier cause our military is paid just like a blue collar worker. Which is what we are and what we will always be! I was raised to work and that's what I will be doing as soon as I graduate and pass the stinkin' NCLEX! I love my man more than words can explain! I'm sure if you are a regular follower (when I actually do post), you know this by now so there is no need to explain myself!

I Apologize, W/ Pictures

2011-07-02T23:41:00.000-05:00

I apologize for being a horrible blogger, yet again I have fallen into the great abyss.
I have seriously had the craziest summer yet!
In May I went to Washington.
June I went to Mississippi to visit hubby.
I started the externship and have been working crazy 12's since! I have rotated through Surgery, ICU, Pre-Op, OB, and ER. I love ICU, OB, and ER the best. I would honestly work in any of these!:)

My Summer In Pictures:)

The flowers hubby got me!
I got them during my last week of school!3

Mr. BOB

Bob and Abbey

First plane ride!
Headed to Washington.

The Rockies

Mount Ranieer
This picture was taken about 2 hours away from the MT.

At McChord

Taco Shop in a old bus in Seattle/Tacoma somewhere!

Again!

My Twilight <3 Woods!
Washington State

Little Crab

Big Crab @ The Sound.

Narrows Bridge

Gig Harbor!

Gulf Port Mississippi on Pass

Us on the ferry to ship island!

Enjoying the breeze!

Ship Island was so lush and green! Very HOT though!

Showing off my new dress!

I love the colors!

Silly hubby!

Ship Island!

Ship Island Beach <3

Back at the hotel!

He always ruins a good pic ;)

Beach Front Hotel!

About to get on the jet skis!
Sorry about the quality it was taken with a disposable camera!

Best Week Ahead of Me!

2011-06-14T00:38:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow I leave to go see my hubby! I will be making the 10 hour drive with a friend! I am so excited, I have butterflies and I want to puke! It is going to be the greatest, I have only went 2 1/2 months without seeing him so I am very lucky that I get to see him for four days before he ships out! I won't see him again until R&R which will be November-ish-Early Spring. Don't know yet!

We are going to be staying at a beach front hotel! I am so excited, it's like our "second" honeymoon. Which we didn't have a really nice honeymoon the first time. We couldn't afford it, and we aren't lucky enough to have "rich" family to pay for it! We were young and just starting life!

Can ya tell I'm excited? Now I got to get in bed! I have a long day ahead of me!

I will post pics after I get back from the trip!:) I am almost to 50 followers so I will be doing a giveaway like I promised! The only problem is the store that I had in mind to buy from got hit by a tornado and they are closed, so now I will have to think of something else to do!

Valves Don't Make Friends

2011-06-10T23:51:00.001-05:00

Getting really good at IV starts. Once I start advancing the catheter I seem to hit a valve 50% of the time. The hardest trouble I am having is picking a good vein to go into. This is like an art in itself. Maybe I should work at a HUGE hospital and be on the IV therapy team so I can go around starting IV's all day! I want to be the best I can be when it comes to venipunctures and IV therapy. I will get it, I know it takes A LOT of practice and ~~patients~~ patience!;)

I'm BACK!

2011-06-09T20:58:00.000-05:00

Ahh. You may or may not be wondering where in the heck I have been for the last month!

I have been busy! I took my trip to Washington state to visit my friend Haley. I stayed on McChord AFB for the time. It was awesome. I seen Mt. Raineer, we went to Gig Harbor, and The Point. It was a really nice stay. I wish I could go back already, I miss them. It was also so nice there! It is so hot in OK! I have been dying!

I took the JOB at the AWESOME hospital! I moved back in with family, and let me just say it is not a great idea to do when your already married and out. It would have been better for me to just take the crappier job...plus the job I took pays 2.50 less! I did not know this at the time or I would have picked the other job. I will say that I have had a great experience though! I have worked in ICU, and tomorrow I am working in ACU (Pre-Op). I have always been interested in surgery. I have rotations in OB, Nursery, Surgery, ER, and some more in ICU. I really LOVE LOVE LOVE ICU with a passion. It is hard to work in ICU as a brand new nurse with no experience though so I don't know how easy it will be to get a job fresh out of college. I really don't want to work on the floor though. We will see. I don't graduate for another 11 months! I am more than ready.

I have some even better news! I can't go into details though but I can say that instead of going to Afghanistan my hubby will be spending time in Kuwait and Iraq. I was really happy with this news until I realized that there are at least 6 deaths that I know of that have happened in Iraq in the last few weeks.

Well leave some comments! I just got the internet turned on here at my familys house so I will be on more! Got to go for now though, I have to wake up at 0430 in order to make it to work on time!

Hospital 2

2011-05-15T02:44:00.000-05:00

I chose the GREAT hospital! I am going to WA sometime soon, after that I am headed back home to pack up some stuff so I can go live my family for the summer! I am pretty excited, but I am scared that it might be weird moving in with my grandma over the summer. We will be fine though, my mom lives with her now in order to help her out more. I found out some pretty saddening stuff about my grandmas health and I am hoping I get to spend a lot of time with her this summer.

I miss my husband today more than ever. He hates his job, he hates this deployment. Today we talked about life...and death. We talked about the different possible scenarios. There are so many different things that could happen so I am really trying to stay positive.

Yesterday I went to an A7X,Bullet for my Valentine, and Three Days Grace concert. Today I went to the races. I have had a pretty good weekend. Tomorrow I have my nieces birthday party, then I get to start packing for WA! Is it okay to feel guilty to be having so much fun without hubby? I am having this debate with myself. I so wanted him to be there with me during the concert because they are two of his favorite bands. I was bummed out but I can't let myself not have fun just because he is gone. My life has to go on also, right? I mean, I haven't had a life in over a year really since school. I am not going out and blowing all the money we have. I am being responsible and asking his opinion on most things. Sigh...

I am sleep deprived so I am going to catch some ZzzZzzzZzzzzZ's. I have another busy week ahead of me!

RN Extern Program

2011-05-11T16:59:00.000-05:00

I got another acceptance letter today.

Now I don't know what to do.

I am making myself sick over picking one and my hubby won't help me decide.

Ugh. I hate this, I never thought I would have a hard time.

Hospital #1 is the hospital I did my clinical rotations at. I feel comfortable there. I know a few of the staff members. Although, they want you to work a full 40 hours a week, which is fine with me until my hubby gets his leave in June. I don't know if they are willing to let me off. They schedule me. I have to wear white scrubs. I will save gas.

Hospital #2 will give me the opportunity to stay with my grandma and mom this summer. It is such a NICE hospital that I could see myself working at when I graduated. They let me schedule my OWN HOURS. Taking off to see my husband for his leave is not a big deal at all, I already have it cleared with them. I will be wasting a ton of gas.

I never thought I would be so messed up by having to make this decision. I should be happy that I am bad~~ass~~ enough to get into BOTH competitive programs. They only had enough room to accept half of the applicants. I have friends from my school that didn't get in either programs. I just had to apply to both of them in fear I wouldn't get one. I took someones spot and they won't pick another person if I drop.

Think I might go throw up now. I know it's not a big deal but I feel like it is going to be a life changing experience. Hubby and I don't know where we are going to move after graduation and deployment but either hospitals would be a good decision and there is BSN programs in both towns. Hospital #2 has a HUGE university program right at the hospital. The other hospital is a small state university so it would be cheaper...

Why do I have a type A personality. This decision is not going to kill me or determine my entire future although I feel that way right now. I hate planning my entire life out to a T.

Laughter

2011-05-11T02:01:00.000-05:00

I just spent over 2 1/2 hours on the phone with one of my nursing school bestie.
We laughed almost the entire phone conversation! I definitely needed some laughter! I will for sure miss her over the summer, we live an hour and a half away so I don't get to visit her much because the drive is a hassle.

Hubby is doing fine, he is heading to a new state tomorrow for a few weeks. He will be going back to the original state after that, we will get a four day leave, after that he is heading to Afghanistan. Not much longer, but I am ready to get it over with. I am ready for leave to be here so I can see him then I want the next year to fly! He put in for his two week already...it will probably be late fall/early winter before he gets to take leave.

Have I said that I am so ready for the next year to fly? The faster it goes the faster I get my hubby back and I get the chance to take the NCLEX! I am so ready to be a nurse working somewhere...I know I will miss school though once I am done. I will be going back to get my BSN and working my way up to either an Nurse Practitioner or a CRNA. Still undecided...I am only 19 though, I will be turning 20 in July. I am still really young though so I am going to have time to decide on what to do after I get my BSN.

Well it is 0200 here, I need to get in bed! Not like I Have anything to do tomorrow but I can always mow....

Lonely Nights

2011-05-09T03:46:00.000-05:00

I can't sleep.

This sucks, I feel sick to my stomach and I have a pretty good feeling my husband is leaving a few details out about his job. I guess he is trying to "protect" me. I am not dumb though, it is easy to tell when he isn't being honest. I probably sound like an obsessive wife, but it is hard to handle when he is trained to do one job then a few weeks before deployment they "change" his job that he is not meant to do!

Gut feeling? Maybe? Something just isn't right.

I am making myself sick over it, it is 0344 my time. I need to go to bed but I don't think I can.
Might as well try, I have nothing better to do.

Deployment Family Day/See Ya Later Day

2011-05-09T01:38:00.000-05:00

There is so much emotion in this picture, I want to cry just looking at it.

From Left to Right:
BIL,SIL,Niece, Nephew, MIL,
My soldier, and me sporting the Us Army shirt.

Yes, as a matter of fact I did know I have child bearing hips!
This picture definitely shows that.

Final formation

Oklahoma Thuderbirds

Moving On

2011-05-06T10:35:00.002-05:00

Well...I did it.

I passed my first year of nursing school!
I will be moving on.
One more year and I can take the NCLEX!

Could this week get any better?

Praise the Lord!

Final Test

2011-05-05T16:36:00.000-05:00

I passed my final "big" test called the Hesi. We were supposed to score an 850 and I scored a 907.
I am so happy and so relieved, after tomorrows IV therapy skills lab I will officially be a SOPHOMORE nursing student and only one year away from graduating RN school.

Talk about a HUGE weight off my shoulder!

Thanks for the thoughts everyone I appreciate it tremendously!

As for now...I still have my pharmacology class to finish. {It is a piece of cake compared to my nursing class though so no worries!}

Advice Needed

2011-05-04T23:57:00.000-05:00

I have a friend that I grew up with my entire life up until 9th grade. I haven't spoken to him in a long time because of school, moving away, etc. He emailed me today, it was a sweet email about how he was so proud of how dedicated I am to my husband and our country and I was a good wife...blah blah blah. Then he said good luck on your test. Nothing out of the ordinary really. I told hubby about it...hubby's RED flag went up automatically.

He gave me the lecture so to say about how guys will hit on me while he is gone....I tried to defend my friend cause we were kids growing up together.

I have an ex-(from HS,nothing serious) that just wrote me on FB asking what I was going to get him for his bday. Seriously? Two guys could not be hitting on me on the same day?! What do y'all do in situations like this when they are your friends?!

I was nice to the first one because I didn't really realize or think that he was hitting on me....Still not sure but I did go back and re-read the email and it says Hey pretty...Weird for sure.

The second one was obvious so I told him that just because my husband was out of town did not give him the right to hit on me, then I quickly changed the subject to his pregnant sister....

I can't be mean and if I don't reply back to an email that looks bad because I am a FB creep, I have no life really. Studying and FB is like a hobby!

Just wondering if any of y'all have ever been put in these types of situations?
This is totally random, and these guys might not have been hitting on me but like my husband said it has been months since I have talked to either, now all of the sudden they are sending me private emails?!

My husband and I have a very good relationship, we are honest with each other and I don't leave small details out. I just haven't had this happen to me, and I don't know how to stop it nicely without being mean.

Ahh..if only I could just grow some freaking balls and tell them to leave me the hell alone.

Sigh....
Random post of the day...I know.

Car Rental, Flights, Externship-Could This Day Get Any Better?

2011-05-04T13:55:00.000-05:00

I was not able to rent a car, in Mississippi the laws are you have to be over the age of 21.
Fine by me.
I will drive! 10 hours isn't to bad, unfortunately my car doesn't have the input thingy so I can plug my iphone into it and listen to music! WAAAA!

On a really positive note....I GOT THE EXTERN POSITION! I start May 31! I am stoked and I can not wait till I am working!

On another positive note. I talked my hubby into me just flying to WA to see a friend of mine. She lives in WA now because her husband is in the Army. I am so excited, I haven't seen her in over nine stinking months! We are all really good friends, I know my hubby is going to be kind of bummed that he won't be there, but I have been putting of this trip for far to long. I didn't want to have to pay a $150 cancellation fee since I was going to fly out there at the end of summer anyways...so instead I switched my flights and I didn't have to pay one penalty!

Today has been great! I passed my last unit test and everything is falling into place!
I am beginning to get closer to God and I definitely owe everything to him! My stress levels are at a all time low and I have never felt this great;)

Now I have one of the biggest tests of my nursing career tomorrow, so wish me luck! In OK it is called the HESI {mid-curricular}. We test over everything we have learned over the past year. I have to make an 850 on it so I am shooting for a 900! Wish me luck and I will update tomorrow afternoon!

Screw Being Under 21

2011-05-03T23:24:00.000-05:00

It is NOT because I can't drink, it is because I can't rent a stinking car.

I already booked my flight for this summer, well I didn't think to call to the car rental places first.
If I can't rent a car once I get there I have to CANCEL my flights, which we lose $150.
I will have to drive a ten hour drive all by myself just to see my husband.
Hey, I will do whatever it takes...but ten hours driving back home is just to much in my opinion.
I am scared I might be a wreck...
I am waiting on Toyota to call me back, the lady I spoke with said she is going to find out the age limit, and try very hard to get me a car due to the circumstances...I'm sure it will cost a pretty penny, but I do NOT care at this point. I want it planned out and I want to see my husband.

I have my VERY LAST unit test tomorrow! WHOOHOO! Nursing school is ALMOST over for the summer! I am so excited, but I better get off here so I can do some last minute studying before I go to bed!

Last Obama Post

2011-05-02T17:08:00.000-05:00

I deleted it.
It came off wrong.
I am very thankful that our country took on the challenge and killed this man.
Osama Bin Laden did so many horrible things, and I am so grateful that he is now deceased.
I am still not quite celebrating though, though it is a huge accomplishment for America.
This can only boost our troops morale, and allow many families to finally have closure and peace of mind.

I will be celebrating when all of our soldiers are returned home, safe and sound.

I do not ever want to come off as unpatriotic, and last night I sounded just that way.
I love our soldiers men/women. I will be forever grateful for them.
My husband is currently training for his second deployment,
I am appreciative for everything they do.

"For I know the plans I have for you",declares the LORD,"plans to prosper you and not to harm you,plans to give you hope and a future". Jeremiah 29:11

TUNE IN

2011-05-01T21:48:00.001-05:00

Obama is about to make a statement. Osama Bin Laden is DEAD!

Picture Update

2011-05-01T21:07:00.000-05:00

Here are a few random pictures to catch all of y'all up. You can tell I am trying to do anything to keep from studying! I have so many tests this week and I am coming up with so many excuses not to study! I am READY for SUMMER already!

Starting with the dog...
Meet Abbey, she is a Basset Hound.

Nose to the ground, just like a hound dog.

He is definitely cute.
Bad thing is HE KNOWS IT.

Playing puppies

Last formation before they load the buses.

Yummy kisses.

Don't judge me, I was sleep deprived.
We didn't sleep at all that night,
in fear that we would miss the alarm clock.

Oh, how I love him.

Night before he left...
excuse the dirty coffee table,
we pigged out on his leave!

Hubby and MIL

Gaw, I miss him.

Patriot Riders

HWY Patrol escort all the way to the state line.

Hubbys bus. He was on the side behind the driver.

June

2011-05-01T01:25:00.000-05:00

I can definitely not wait till June! I am so excited, a friend of mine and I are going to road trip to see our hubby's. They get a four day leave before they go. It is going to be a TEN hour drive! I hope she sticks with it, I am like super excited and it's over a month away! I found a hotel right smack dab on a white sand beach! It is kind of pricey though....hopefully everyone can agree to getting the 2 bedroom and splitting the cost...we will see.

I will be perfectly content sleeping in a really cheap hotel with a hard mattress though, I just really want to see my husband and spend some time with him. I really really miss him.

FINALS are this week, things are crazy.
Keep me in your thoughts, I am taking a HUGE test this week...it compares to the NCLEX almost, besides I don't earn a license if I pass it;) Darn it.

Deployment Details

2011-04-29T23:49:00.000-05:00

On my last post I explained that we (hubby and I), were having a rough time with this deployment. I finally found out why, hubby told me last night that his MOS was changed, he is getting little training before he goes. It is a dangerous job in my opinion, I am scared now and I will have NO peace of mind while he is gone. He was 25U, which is a communication specialist (or something similar). I was told that I can't tell his new job, sorry for the suspense.

The main reason why I am so upset about it all is because in July when he was called to extend, the first question he asked is "Is this deployment MOS specific?" The commander said YES. This means that he would be doing HIS JOB, HIS MOS. The reason he asked this is because last deployment he did not do his job. Nothing wrong with that, but he was trained in 25U! It would be nice if that is what he got to do.

It just goes to show....

Like all things in the Army, if it is not in writing then it is subject to change.

I am through with the military and if I fail out of nursing school I BETTER come up with a better backup plan because military will no longer be an option for me.

Sorry if I offend anyone, I am not trying to. I am truly hurt by the way things are going with this deployment. There are so many things that have happened since he has been gone.

Right now I am exhausted and I just want to be a ~~bitchy~~ "Army wife".

My Husband

2011-04-26T22:28:00.000-05:00

My hubby is still in the states training, he leaves early summer. He is having a rough time, he volunteered to extend his contract for this deployment. He regrets it. I'm not going to go into to much detail just because I feel like I shouldn't, some things should stay private. He loves what he does but staying home would have been much better. We almost two months into so I have adjusted accordingly, I guess. I miss him so much though. I miss his messes he makes, and I definitely miss the "welcome home" kisses. It was a tradition, as soon as one of us got home the other walked into the kitchen to say "welcome home" by giving a kiss! Everything around here reminds me of him, I constantly think of him, in fact I still have his dirty clothes basket in the kitchen. I left it there so he could strip off his nasty muddy clothes before he tracked it all through the house.

I guess what I am trying to say is I miss him, and you never really get used to them being gone. I have done pretty good not complaining about him being gone. Even though some days I just want to scream at and choke some people.

Sometimes, I feel like the world owes me...this probably is NOT healthy. I just can't help it though. I try not to feel that way but I am going without. I have to live an entire year without my best friend.

I know, I know...

There are thousands of others feeling this way...

but this is MY blog and this is how I feel right now.

It just makes the deployment so much harder when I know how bad he hates it, he wishes he would have told the captain to shove it where the sun don't shine. The captain called in July and asked if he would be willing to extend. My husband didn't think twice about it, he called right back and said YES! It just makes me feel that much sadder, I know my husband hates every minute of it. He has his reasons. We are very proud of him and we are very patriotic but he has put in his time and it is time for us to move on. Unfortunately our orders aren't up till next spring sometime.

Gosh, I sound so whiney. I haven't broke down like this since he has been gone. I'm not having an actual "breakdown" right now but I just vented big time. I feel better getting it out. I just wish there was something I could do to make my husband feel better, he is over 1,000 miles away and I am helpless. I can't be there for him in one of the hardest parts of his life.

On to happier things....hubby and I were talking the other night and we were thinking that we *might* try to start a family sometime after his arrival home. Not to soon, but as long as I graduate and pass the NCLEX so I am licensed we have decided that what ever happens....happens.

This is exciting and scary all at once. Were not going to rush it, but I think we are both ready. We have been married two years this August, I am ONLY 19 though so it is really to soon, but....by the time I am 21 he will just be getting back and I will be licensed. I think we will wait to start trying after my 22 bday!

Totally random I know, but my husband and I have always discussed having babies later in life! Then somehow the subject got on kids the other night and he said he was ready! I was like, WHOAH! It was very funny to be precise!

Enough about my freakishly long post with NO pictures! I have to get in bed, I have school tomorrow and a 3 hour drive for my interview at hospital #2!

Wish me LUCK!
I have plenty of new pics, I need to do a post of nothing but pics one day soon!

One Interview Down-One To Go

2011-04-26T16:30:00.000-05:00

I had my first interview today @ one of the local hospitals for the nurse extern position. There are 29 people applying and they are only taking 10-15. Whew I am nervous. The interview was pretty neat, there were about 8 RN's sitting around a table, they took turns asking questions. I had to answer, I am sure they could tell I was nervous. I did make them laugh a time or two. I told them about myself and told them that my husband was deployed. One nurse asked how long he would be gone. I told her till next spring sometime. They all got this really sad face. I said "It's okay, I have been doing pretty good without him". Every single interviewer was laughing pretty hard. One said "That just got you a few extra points!" It was pretty funny.

I hope that doesn't offend anyone, I have a weird sense of humor and telling myself I am doing okay without him helps me out! I am doing pretty good without him, I have less cleaning, less laundry, more me time, I can listen to MY music! I have to look at the glass as half full or it is going to be a llooonnngg year. Again, I hope I didn't offend anyone, I do love my husband and I would rather have him home, but there is no need for me to sit and mop around. Plus I didn't want them to think that I wouldn't be a good candidate since my husband is deployed. I didn't want them to think I would be depressed or not focused enough to work!

My next interview is tomorrow! This hospital is an hour and a half way! If I get this position I am going to have to move in my grandma for the summer so I will only be about 40 minutes away. I have to save some gas $money$! I am sure everyone of you can understand that! I drive a Honda, but gas is 3.75 here and it is getting to expensive for my little economical car!

Keep your fingers and toes crossed that I get one of them, at this point I don't care which one I get! I will be happy with either! I should know by the second week in May!

Giveaway!

2011-04-25T12:43:00.000-05:00

I am still sick, thinking about taking a nap soon!

I am currently at 44 readers! Once I get to 50 I am going to do a giveaway! I think I will do a surprise type of giveaway. I am going to post a partial picture and who ever guesses what it is right gets an entry. I already know what I am going to giveaway, and it is partially because I love the store and if you are a girl you will love it! I don't have any guy followers so we should be a-okay! Tell your friends about me, once I get to 50 I promise I am going to do a awesome giveaway! I have been itching to do one, but I could never think of what I wanted to actually give away! I have an idea now so I will have some time to finalize it!

Definitely Sick

2011-04-24T22:03:00.000-05:00

For sure sick, I just got back from the ER not to long ago. I have a double ear infection, Bronchitis, strep throat, and a sinus infection. I guess I am just meant to be sick. I got a shot in the hiney;). It was a steroid/antibiotic/B-12 mix. I hope I get to feeling better SOON! I have finals coming up! I am not supposed to be sick! All of the pharmacys in town were already closed so I will have to get my script filled tomorrow!

Hopefully I feel good enough to go to school tomorrow!

Sick

2011-04-24T17:35:00.000-05:00

Started off as allergies, now I am so sick I would rather die. I have been running fever, and the stupid urgent care wouldn't take my husbands tricare. I am going to try to get in the docs tomorrow, I really hope I can cause I am sick and going to the ER is stupid for something so little. I am not about to die, even though I may feel like it.....

I have school tomorrow, an interview on Tuesday, school and another interview on Wednesday! I have a busy week and I can't afford to be sick! :(

ER

2011-04-19T20:44:00.000-05:00

I had my last day of "med/surg" clinicals down in the ER today! We got to go because our instructors work in ER and they usually let us go one day a semester. I loved it, I can't wait till next semester when we are down there more! I love ER more than I could EVER love med/surg.

I PASSED the HARD test! I made a B but I will take it. I don't know anyone that failed so maybe we stepped it up a notch. She might have made the test a tad bit easier but I still feel proud because I studied my butt off and I knew the stuff, besides some of the dysrthymias. I still get confused on them, but I think I could take a ENTIRE semester of just EKG interpretation!

Puppy training last night was very exhausting. She was loud all night, I put her in her crate till bed time. She yelped and howled. It was so annoying. I left her in it though for a long time. I let her sleep with me at night because my husband is gone and I guess it is mostly for my comfort...hubby will have no problem with it when he gets home though. We have always loved snuggling with our babies. It is going to be weird when he gets home to a brand new dog, he only met her for a few days when he came in for leave, she was so little then she slept all the time! Now she is playful and she likes to nibble on everything!

I swear I will post pictures soon!

I bought a new shirt today for my interview @ the hospital next week! I intended on buying a whole new outfit but I could only fit a BIG size and I refused to pay $32 for a pair of slack capris I was only going to wear three times at the most, plus I don't plan on being able to fit them by the end of the summer. I am so cheap but with how much I spend in gas each week I have to be, plus we are saving to buy a house!

Ahh...I need to pull the camera out and take some pictures! I have a four day weekend and I am going home to spend some time with my family, I am determined to get some pictures this weekend!

Puppy Training

2011-04-18T21:14:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I got a puppy after get rid of Ashley. She is a basset hound, I read up on them but I did NOT remember how hard it was raising a puppy. She has been to the vet and everything is fine..but....she can be outside for hours then come straight in and go pee. She is backwards. Anyone have any pointers? I am starting to get very annoyed. I am about to leave her in her crate a lot more if it doesn't stop.

My Pug Bob has occasional accidents but I blame them on myself mostly, if I take a nap he sometimes has an accident. I don't punish him though because it is my fault for not letting him out BEFORE I take a nap. I have never had so much trouble house training a dog.

HELP PLEASE:)

Silence

2011-04-17T17:08:00.000-05:00

I wish I could take comfort in this picture, today is way to quite for me to handle though. It makes me miss my husband that much more. I am tired of studying, I am tired of sitting in this empty house, I am tired of only talking to dogs, I am tired of answering myself, I am tired of freaking out when I hear my voice for the first time in hours, I am tired of being super overly excited when the phone rings, I am just tired of this deployment. Our orders practically just started and we still have over 370 days till his orders for this deployment end.

Shoot.

My year is going to suck.

I start working out again tomorrow! I am pretty excited, I have gained more weight back and now ~~I currently weigh more than I started out as.~~ Shhh. Don't tell! I am going to get back on my "deployment goals" pretty soon! I promise, I am holding myself accountable for them.

Bad Bad Student

2011-04-17T15:38:00.000-05:00

I have been a horrible student, I just realized that I forgot to take one of my unit exams by the due date. It is an online class. I have a 95% in the class but a zero on a test is going to hurt. Especially when the test is worth 10% of my grade. I emailed the teacher, hopefully she reopens it and lets me take it. I can't believe I forgot, my school website never sent me the update about it being open either so I partly blame it on that.

I am taking a break from studying right now, I am about to eat some cereal then get back to it. I have my cardiac test tomorrow and I am sort of freakin' out. I have most of it down, but this teachers tests are extremely hard. Over half the class seriously failed her last one, and I am not even kidding. She said she felt really bad, but I don't believe her because she was being a smart ~~ass~~ about it in class. She is currently head over the education dept at a hospital. She does all the continuing education for the hospital. She needs to realize that we aren't RN's. The people she teaches at the hospital already have their licenses.

I am not being a sissy about this teacher either, she is hard. Even our nurse practitioner teacher said her test was hard and she wasn't to positive that she would be able to pass.

Now that is bad. I think that we should make the director of the program take the test to she how well she does! Maybe that would make them realize something isn't right when HALF of the class fails.

Okay, off my hard test "soapbox".

I really want to do a giveaway sometime soon. Any suggestions?
When I hit 50 readers I will do a giveaway, then when I hit 100 readers I will do an awesome giveaway!
I think I am currently at 43 readers. I understand that it takes awhile to build your readers.
& It is definitely not about how many readers you have. I would rather have 10 loyal readers that actually care about my crappy life. I want people that actually read 85% of the time and someone that can pass some words of wisdom on my way.

I love each and every one of you, y'all have no idea how much your comments mean to me. I know that I have a support system. Having a support system right now is one of the most important things to me at this point in my life.

I am being tested, and I have to stay strong.

Scentsy

2011-04-16T13:35:00.001-05:00

Today as ordering my mother's day presents I almost hit the button to join. I want to become a Scentsy consultant so bad. Every single time I get remotely close to giving in I talk my self out of it at the last minute. I want to do it, but I am scared that I won't be good at it or I will regret doing it. Honestly, ~~I am scared of commitment.~~ I have already given up my entire life to nursing school, if I sell Scentsy I feel like I won't have much time for anything. I have become addicted to Scentsy since I ordered my first warmer and my first bar of Jumpin' Jelly Bean! I seriously think I might give in as soon as I am out of school for the summer! Who sells Scentsy? How do you like it? How well does it fit into your family lifestyle?

Julie the Army Wife has decided to give away a FULL size Cherry Blossom warmer and the newest scent Flutter. I must admit, I find this warmer to be so darn cute! Flutter smells really good, I have a bar but I still haven't burned it because I am hooked to Jumpin' Jelly Bean! Go over and follow her blog, then read some of her stuff! Then try to win this cutesy little warmer and scent!

Tornado Alley-April 14,2011

2011-04-15T13:51:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I spent over half of the day in and out of the cellar. Yes, we all know what this means for Oklahoma?! Spring has finally made it's grande entrance! Yay!

Not say yay really, as we were going to get in the cellar for what seemed like the millionth time, I got a very important phone call. My husbands sister had lost everything. Her whole home was flattened besides two bedrooms, they lost their boat, the new truck, their travel trailer. Thankfully no one got hurt in our family. Please pray for the town of Tushka, Oklahoma. Two lives were taken and several are in critical condition. I will get some pictures if I decide to go down this weekend to help them clean up. Hopefully clean up can start soon, they are having to wait until the insurance man looks at the property. Here is a video that shows pretty good detail.

On the other hand, I passed my venipuncture returns! I got blood! WHOOHOO!

Again, Please pray for the entire community of Atoka and Tushka Oklahoma, many people have lost everything.

Blog Makeover Giveaway

2011-04-13T17:58:00.000-05:00

JG over @ Me and My SoldierMan is giving away a free blog giveaway from Crafty Hippo Designs. This is a good giveaway, if your anything like me you are dying to have your shabby ole' blog redone! I always talk about it but I never think about doing it really, I get so caught up in school and home life that getting a blog makeover is the last thing on my mind. She has a few simple things that will give you extra entries! Go head over there, follow her and read her blog! She is very entertaining and if you like puppies she sure has some cute ones.

To enter:

Describe what kind of theme or color scheme you'd like your new blog design to be in the comments below - 1 entry
Be a follower - 1 entry

Bonus entries:

Blog about this giveaway - 5 entries
Twitter about the giveaway - 3 entries
Share the giveaway on facebook - 2 entries

Soup Kitchen-Clinical Assignment

2011-04-13T17:53:00.000-05:00

Ahh, I have a huge cardiac test on Monday and this stuff is just not clicking at all still. I absolutely hate cardiac, even more than renal. I have clinical nearly all day tomorrow, then I have to do my clinical assignment. Right after clinical I have to head to a different town over two hours away to go eat at the soup kitchen. The soup kitchen is an assignment that I should have done a long time ago but I kept putting it off due to spending time with the hubby before deployment. It is one of the dumbest "assignments" ever. I am ready for clinicals to be over with already.

I just got done paying some bills and setting up an automatic transfer from our checking to savings each month, since hubby is deployed we plan on saving some serious cash to buy a home. It's crazy to think I am 19 and already saving to buy a home. Most of the friends I went to HS with are still living at home off their parents with no job to help out.

Oh the joys of being mature! I always think way to far ahead in my life.

Girls Day

2011-04-12T13:59:00.000-05:00

I am soon taking a break from the books for a few hours, I am picking my 7y/o niece up from school. We are having a girls day. I am taking her to get our toes done together, we are going to go out to eat, then to the car wash 'cause my car is filthy! Our final stop will be Walmart! I bet she is going to be excited, I am surprising her. She just loves it when she gets our nails done, she is normally such a boots and mud kind of girl but I am teaching her young that it is okay to be girly!

Maybe I will remember to get some pictures for y'all!

Interview

2011-04-11T12:01:00.000-05:00

I just got a call from the hospital!

I got an interview for the nurse extern position I applied for!

I am so excited, now I must go shopping for some clothes!

My interview is the 26th of this month. I hope I get it, I will get some much needed skills this summer. Then by fall hopefully I will be a step ahead of the game!

Exhausted

2011-04-11T09:29:00.000-05:00

I just overslept for my nursing class. I feel horrible because we only have two days of lecture left before I have to take my big cardiac exam. I am in such a funk and I can't seem to snap out of it. Nursing school has officially broken me down. I guess it is time for me to get on studying all day, I don't have clinicals tomorrow either so I can catch up tomorrow also. I am so mentally exhausted, I am worn out and if summer doesn't come quick I don't know what I am going to do.

If you believe in prayer please pray for me. I need it right about now.

I Am Alive

2011-04-10T00:43:00.000-05:00

I repeat: I am still alive.

Life has been CRAZY.

HECTIC.

I need a breather.
Tomorrow I am doing more homework & studying.
Cleaning needs to be done, and my pug has a dog training session.

I feel like my head is spinning all the time, I feel like I am sometimes drowning,
although....
I can see light at the end of the tunnel.
This semester is coming to an end very soon.
three more tests, then a mid-curricular exam{which is a BIG deal}.

I have applied @ two hospitals for the summer nurse extern program. I should know by the second week of May if I got accepted into one. I might end up moving for the summer, it just depends on the hospital I get into to. If I move I will be gone for roughly 8-10 weeks, I will be staying at my grandmas..this means if I can't find an internet provider to allow me to get service w/out a contract I will be going ALL summer without internet, unless I take the laptop to a wifi "hotspot" in town.

I have a few pictures to upload from me and my hubby saying "see ya later"...but, I just realized I am on the desktop...the pictures are on the laptop. I am to tired to get on the laptop. It is almost 1am here.

25 Random Facts

2011-04-01T15:17:00.000-05:00

I have seen a lot of people do this so I guess I will give it a shot, my blog entries are mostly bitchy.

If you are a reader of mine you already know I love my dogs to death and back. I have had a lot of problems lately, Bob is the only original I still have. I recently got him a basset hound to have as a playmate.
Some days I wish I would have went to be a veterinarian.
Working with animals is better than humans in my opinion.
I am terrified of grasshoppers.
I seem to have some sort of social disorder, it is getting worse the longer I don't have a life due to nursing school.
I really would love to go blow some major money and take a vacation to Hawaii, or even move there.
I met my husband while walking my dog.
Avenged Sevenfold is my favorite band, they are rock and I really like country also.
I grind my teeth at night while having nightmares of losing them.
Losing my teeth is the biggest fear I have in life, it terrifies me to think about breaking one, chipping one, etc.
I was cringing while thinking about and writing number 10.
I hate doing laundry with a passion, although the last week I have kept up with it really good.
My niece and nephew serve a functional purpose to me. You ask what that may be?
They are my birth control, when I get baby fever I call my sisinlaw and ask to babysit, that fixes me for at least another couple of months.
I have always wanted to be a vegetarian but I have never done it, I get grossed out by eating meats.
I stole and wrecked my moms car when I was 14. Yeah, it was stupid of me.
I hate the house I live in with a passion.
Right now I can see my Army Scentsy warmer.
That reminds me to buy some new scents.
Talking about myself seems to be harder than imagined.
I go to a community college, graduating in May 2012. Then planning on going back to a university to get my BSN.
I haven't taken all of the required classes for a BSN, so that means at least one more full time semester before I could even apply.
After graduating I plan on going back and becoming either a Nurse Practitioner, or a Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist.
As you can tell school is the ONLY thing I have going for me.
After I graduate I get to move out of this HELL HOLE!

OR Clinicals

2011-03-31T15:43:00.000-05:00

WARNING-Graphic, not meant for weak stomachs!

Not my cup of tea, but I did see some cool stuff. I seen a Hiatal Hernia Repair today, this one was really bad because the stomach was being turned a weird way. I didn't get to see the stomach part so I'm not sure. The first surgery was five long hours, talk about pain on the back, legs, and feet! The second surgery was about 2 1/2 hours. I honestly don't think I could do it, the circulating nurse had a stool to sit on...lucky her. We cut up, we laughed, I wanted to puke because the smell of burning flesh wasn't something I want to smell again. I laughed some more, then I felt incompetent some. Try putting a catheter in a 430 pound woman. Not fun, it was the FIRST catheter I have ever put in a person, let's just say I didn't quite make it in the right hole. It was dark, I was nervous the nurses were trying their hardest to lift on the belly....Oh wow, TMI. Well the blog does say Stethoscopes....that should have a been a warning that I might talk about some disturbing stuff! I will update as I go along, we start cardiac tomorrow! YIKES!
It is def nap time, I have been up since before 0500 and I am tired.

Pathophysiology

2011-03-30T21:54:00.000-05:00

I passed my exam with a B! Looks like I'm no straight A student anymore, but I can say making a B on such a big exam is amazing! I will study harder next time. We start Cardiac on Friday.....scary stuff. If anyone has pointers on Cardiac I would love to hear them;)

See Ya Later Ashley

2011-03-27T21:59:00.000-05:00

Ashley went to her new owner today! I am very saddened but I am excited for Ashley. She is living with the dog trainer now, a very great one at that. She is going to be in perfect hands, with someone that can dedicate their ~~time~~ life to her. I could not have found a better person to take Ashley. I will get to see her when I want, I was even offered a JOB with the dog trainer! That is right, she wants me to come up there and help her train dogs! She thinks I am awesome....wish I would have known a long time ago, cause in my opinion working with dogs would be way better than working with humans! If only the pay was as great. Now, I love working with people but some days I can't believe I chose nursing. There are so many whiney sick people to take care of. Exactly the reason why I chose not to work on a Med/Surg floor. I am doing really good, hubby is still home on some leave time. It has been nice, we haven't really done much but hang out. We went to see Sucker Punch last night with his mom, let's just say that movie was a FAIL in my opinion. My hubby is a movie buff and he didn't like it either if that tells you anything. It was bad.

I really miss blogging regularly! &I hate to cut it short but I have a unit test on Wednesday...I have got to study some more before I go to bed. Our test is over Pathophys. We are learning a lot about infections, disease processes, Chemo, and Radiation. This unit is like a mixed pot of fun stuff!

Wish me luck!

Don't Judge Me

2011-03-24T23:05:00.000-05:00

This post is going to make me sound like a horrible, ungrateful, whiney wife.

I am in a bad mood though, on the verge of tears. I just want to be mean to my husband, I want to push him as far away as possible. I know this is bad of me, but I also know its "normal" for us to feel this way pending a deployment, he is home for a 4 day from training. He goes back to training, and he actually leaves for the deployment sometime in late spring. I have had to put up with SO much bull crap while he has been gone. I had to get buy new tires for my car, get the oil changed on both vehicles. Deal with our dog situation, let me tell you he got mad at me for awhile over it all. He bought a brand new $900 laptop last week. While I need a new one for school, his old one works perfectly. He is going to take this brand new one TO AFGHANISTAN! Oh, I am just so frustrated. Tonight I got in our freezer to find that it's not working anymore...now that he bought a laptop we have NO extra breathing money. I have to wait until my school loans come in...yeah that will be in the MIDDLE of April. What in the heck am I going to do for food now? I am a horrible mess right now. He will be gone when it comes time to buy a new fridge so I will get to do all that on my own. I am an independent person but it is going to suck figuring out a way to move a icebox on my own. Guess I can pay someone to do it for me, I don't think Lowes delivers to my house either.

I just feel like I always get dealt the crappy hands and he is off having a freaking vacation while he is gone to training, I know deployments are not fun but he is getting out of all this. I asked him to take the trash out yesterday, he turned around and looked and me and said "I am going to war". I am sorry but going to war does NOT excuse you of your duties at the house while you are home. I am not your momma and I don't care. He is the one that chose to go. He chose to go all because of "money", there is not enough money in the world to make me want him to go to war.

I know all of this is just a jumbled mess but I was on the verge of tears and now I feel better so my "typing" does help. I am really not this whiney all the time, I love my husband and I don't mean to talk so negatively about him. I just need a break and this four day better start looking up ~~cause as of right now I really wouldn't mind having the house to myself again~~. I was used to him being gone and he just came back and I feel like he is raining on my parade. We hardly talked today, he was zoned out on the TV when he got home and I worked on my care plan.

Sigh* I feel sick and I am ready to get this year over with. I HATE deployments. & I HATE goodbyes.

Lazy Syndrome

2011-03-24T14:46:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to say THANK YOU to each and every one of you. I am now up to 40 readers! I have only had this blog for a few months, I don't blog "regularly", and I mostly gripe on here. I vent in order to keep from going off on the world!

Hubby has been home for two nights, it has been so nice to have him home. He has some leave time before he actually gets deployed. I just started getting used to him being gone and "BAM", here he is again. I think it is going to make it that much harder when he leaves again. We have been doing nothing really, we have stayed home and just hung out. I have a lot of homework that is getting in the way of this off time of his. He is at drill right now taking a few classes for the deployment. I have been reading out of my med/surg book in order to study some for my test on Wednesday. I am about to start my careplan in a little while. It's not due until the 1st of April but I don't need to be a procrastinator. I have always been the worlds worst about procrastinating.

Update on my pup Ashley- We have decided that it would be best to give our baby girl to the dog trainer. This dog trainer has changed my look on everything I have ever learned about dogs. She is amazing. I think Ashley will be better off with the dog trainer. She is my baby but the trainer "Jenn" can give her the attention she needs, she will train her, and she is going to give her a purpose in life. Ashley is going to do amazing, Jenn is going to train her and make her into a therapy dog. I was so amazed at Ashley's accomplishments in just two weeks, she listens so well to Jenn the trainer. It's weird to say but I think her and Jenn were made for each other. I am going to miss her tremendously but the trainer said I will still get to see her. I am so excited to see what she can do with Ashley. I think this will be best for her, my life is so busy right now with school and the deployment, I never imagined that having a "Gladiator" breed would be so hard. We were prepared to keep Ashley until she died but I think it will be best this way, and I am saving her life.

School is going okay I guess, I have been rather lazy since spring break. I am getting back in the groove of things now though.

Tag Chasers

2011-03-19T23:37:00.000-05:00

I have heard this term several times, although I have never really understood the true meaning. You don't hear many people say they want to marry military personal. Tonight while Facebook "creeping" I seen where a girl posted she wanted an Army man. Now unfortunately that pissed me off pretty bad. I understand you can't help who you meet and fall in love with. Tag Chaser is the perfect quote though. I don't understand it at all.

When I was 14 and met my hubby I knew he was in the National Guard, but I had NO idea what the NG even did. I had NEVER met anyone in the NG. I NEVER dreamed that he would get deployed, when he called me in 07 and said he was deploying for a year I almost had a heart attack right there in the middle of Walmart. Would I have changed my mind about being with him if I knew the possibilities? NO, but for some women to only go after military men is just so ignorant to me. Yeah, I understand that the benefits can be great, many military wives get the opportunity to stay at home.{This would surprise me after the grocery and gas increase} Maybe "outsiders" see the life as glamorous, can this be because of how military life is portrayed on TV? Military life is not all that glamorous, I am not even a full time military wife, hell I am used to one weekend a month, two weeks a year literally. This is our second deployment. I know women that are on deployment number 8! Yes, I said 8! I have the upmost respect for these families. I mean it from the bottom of my heart.

I guess this post is really pointless but my main thoughts are...
TV aka Army Wives is very misleading in my opinion. It gives "us outsiders" a different look on the military that rarely exist. This in turn is making girls go NUTS over military men. Tag Chasing should be frowned upon. The military life is not so glamorous, but when you love a military man you have no choice other than to support him in ANYTHING he does. It is simply a job, but it is one they love, and it's one to be proud of.

I hope I didn't offend anyone by this post in any way, I didn't really think about the wording. This post was typed up last minute.

Trip to the Vet

2011-03-18T13:28:00.000-05:00

I have been taking my dogs to our vet for about two years now. I took Ashley to the vet yesterday to get her booster shots. She did great, all the vet techs gave her lovins'. She soaked it up, believe me. I wish I would have thought to take some pics. After the Collins seen her and gave her the shots, he personally told me I made the right decision to keep her alive. He said she is a very loving and appreciative dog. I was on the verge of tears, I have been scolded several times for making the decision I made. He understood that both choices I had were very hard for me. He believes that she will be okay. This made me feel so great. I know we have a long road ahead of us, and many weeks of training. She is doing great right now though, I have had no problems out of her.

I have been very busy on my spring break, I am kind of sad I haven't had more time to relax at home, but I still have Saturday and Sunday to relax and study some. I have to go for now though, I have a doctor appointment. I am getting my last birth control shot today and I could not be happier!

Two WeeksEDITED

2011-03-13T19:18:00.001-05:00

Two weeks into deployment and I miss my husband tremendously. He is training right now so I do still get to talk to him on a regular basis so it makes it "easier". He is literally my best friend though so I am kind of still lost without him. I have been doing okay but I get really lonely in this empty quite house. We found out that he does get a four day before he goes overseas though so I am pretty excited about that!

On to my dog, she did amazing at the trainers yesterday, she walked along side of me, she sat after some practice. The trainer has a lot of faith in her, she says that she has seen many pit bulls be challenged and they kill because it is in their nature. She was telling me a lot about the signs to look for and how to stop it. It was really interesting. I am so glad that she has some faith in my dog, many people are scolding me for not having her put down. Deciding to rehabilitate the dog was a harder decision in my opinion, because I was so angry at her for doing what she did. She is a good dog, she wants to please people. She knew she did wrong, she has barely touched any food for over a week now. The day before yesterday I had to bribe her to eat, I poured a can of beef broth and put some canned chicken in her food. She was so hungry she ended up eating the entire bowl of food. I have faith in my dog, I think she will do well!

Hubby is calling right now!.....

Well, that was very short lived. He told me he was going on some kind of walk tonight. Apparently for no reason. Oh Lord, the NG is something else. It was a ruck walk with 50 lbs. of gear, they ended up doing over 3 miles. I just had to clarify that cause I made OKNG sound bad!

I guess I am going to find something productive to do. I have laundry and lots of it waiting so patiently for me. Then I need to practice with Ashley some before bed time.

ANONYMOUS

2011-03-11T21:10:00.000-06:00

To the ANONYMOUS comment:For one if you can't put your name don't post on my page. I have the heart to spill everything on here and you should be able to at least let it be known who you are.

I put "killer" for people so that they would know that it was in fact the correct dog. I am paying good money for her to go to a trainer, and if it does happen again it will be my fault and I understand that, but I LOVE my husband with all my heart and I am going to try to fix his dog, if that cost me an arm and a leg so be it. I am aware of what I am doing, I have lost sleep over it. It is my dog, my life and I am going to make the final decision. Oklahoma does not have strict laws against Pit Bulls yet, I have checked. I am sure there will one day, but by the time they do I am going to have her trained. Molly was not viscously "mauled", it in fact took me awhile to even find bite marks,she had one set of bite marks which meant Ashley bit once realized what she did and stopped. I have seen Molly challenge my Pit Bull in fact, it is in their nature to back themselves up when challenged. I understand the responsibilities of owning a Pit Bull this is why I am seeking out for help. I have thought about this long and hard and I am not having her put down until I have to. I am testing out the waters and watching her behavior very closely.

So before you go and call me an idiot please educate yourself on the subject matter first. I should not have to explain myself but I find it very rude that you call me an idiot and you can't even own up to your own name.

What is so wrong with having a little faith anyways?

Happy

2011-03-11T20:24:00.000-06:00

I am back for today! I am going to try to stay away from all the negativity. I can't handle re-reading my posts and having them sound so bad.

Yes, I am doing okay. I have my bad days. Today was one of them, but I'm not going to talk about it!

I am still alive and well! Nursing school hasn't killed me yet! :)

Hubby is doing well, he is still "training", if you could even call it that. I don't know what the NG is doing but I won't talk to much smack. I am a spouse and I should probably keep some of my thoughts about the NG to myself!

I am taking my PitBull "Killer", {Ashley} to a personal dog trainer tomorrow! I am really hoping for some good news and some improved behavior. I can tell she is mourning from hubby leaving. She has lost a lot of weight, she won't play and I have to bribe her with human food in order to get her to eat! It is really a sad ordeal, I have not had anymore problems out of her though. I hope it stays that way.

School is going good I guess, I am out for spring break THANK THE LORD! I needed some R&R from school. Believe me, I was getting frustrated and ready to throw in the towel!

I did catch up on some blogs today, I will catch up even more over spring break! The only thing I will be doing this break is a careplan, getting a pedicure, hanging out with some good friends from school and shopping!

Enough about me, how are y'all?

I am waiting for hubby to call or get on skype. I will ttyl!

Quick Update

2011-03-08T21:57:00.000-06:00

Nursing School=HELL
I made a 70% on the last test, 70% in nursing=F
I will not be around for awhile until I figure out how to juggle life with nursing school.
School has gotten harder than I ever thought possible, they are trying weed out the weak.
You should see the emails we get from the director. They are horrible and it practically screams, "we are going to let you drown and we will not save you!"

I am fed up with nursing school.
My back-up plan is join the Air Force.
Hopefully I don't need the back-up plan but I have been so sick and stressed over school that I don't even remember if its worth it or not.

On to the dog,
I am taking her to a personal trainer. She is going to try to help us, if she can't then she is going to screen some people and try to find a good home for our dog. We are not having her put down.

Thanks for the comments, I really appreciate every single one of them. Sorry I haven't had time to comment back to any of y'all.

SAD

2011-03-04T23:21:00.000-06:00

I came home from studying last night to find my Shih Tzu dead. My Pit Bull was the culprit. I am sick to my stomach as writing this. I love my dog so much and I can't stand the thought of euthanasia or even getting rid of her. She has been showing some aggression for a few months now. I never really believed it would lead up to the death of one of my little dog's. She was raised with them, they knew each other.

Here is the email I received from our Vet, he isn't anti-pit. He has cared for her several times. Keep in mind that he is a Vet that lives in Oklahoma. This doesn't mean that he is an English teacher.

Kayla,
Per your request pertaining to your Pit Bull, I cannot and would not encourage you to keep a dog that has attacked and killed another dog. I had the same situation, same breed of dog, problem occur when I was in practice in Montana. The people thought that Pit's are the way because of the way they are raised. InMontana, the formerly nice Pit attacked and killed a little Poodle. Within a week the folks caught the dog with their 3 month-old baby girl's head in its mouth. That is the potential problem one live's with when they have a Pit that has attacked. It may or may not happen again and it may or may not be a child, but I would never be the one to encourage someone to keep that breed of dog which has an attack and kill history. I would advise euthanasia for the dog, otherwise you are liable for any and all damages that dog may do AND...you could face criminal charges were it to bite a person. Hope my input will be helpful to you guys. Yours...Doc Collins

Reading this just makes my heart break. I don't know how I could ever have her "put down", I have only had to have one dog put down because he had parvo and the $400 treatment was not successful. I didn't want to see him suffer any longer so we decided to put him down. Ashley is my baby though, she is almost three years old. She was raised with other dogs, I thought this would "socialize" her, so she wouldn't have aggression towards dogs later. WRONG answer. I am learning the hard way that it is just their "nature", it plain sucks. If it was just her I would NEVER consider have her "put down", but I have my niece and nephew to worry about. They come over quiet often, I have my Pug Bob to worry about also. He is so little and she would surely kill him just like Molly.

Ashley is in the kennel right now howling this sad pitiful howl, but I can't let her in because I am scared that she will kill Bob. All of our dogs are inside dogs but they go outside while we are gone, or when it's nice so they can get some play time in. I have been rotating her between the kennel and the leash all day today, she has never been outside for this long besides when we went to Corpus last year.

My heart is literally breaking, I know most of you will think it is stupid because it is "just a dog", but she is my baby. We have no kids, these dogs are our kids for now. I got this dog to keep until she died, now my vet is telling me to have her "put down".

I got this breed because I think they are beautiful but I also wanted to be able to prove people wrong. I wanted to show people that we could raise an even tempered animal. She is great with humans, she has never showed any aggression towards a human, {except my father-in-law, but you really don't want to know the story. I don't blame her for trying to growl at him and warn him not to come closer though}.
She is a good dog and I don't want to kill her. Maybe my compassionate nurse is coming out now, I thought I had no compassion until now.

RIP Molly

"Jolly Molly"

Ashley the Pit Bull

What do I do? Have any of you ever dealt with this?

Deployment 2011

2011-02-28T18:49:00.000-06:00

Where to begin.....
Hubby has started the first part of his journey for the deployment. He is headed to his training base. He will train for a few months then head to "somewhere" in Afghanistan sometime in the summer. Today was hard, they say it gets easier and I sort of believe it now. I remember in 2008 after leave when he walked through the terminal to get on the plane. Now that day was hard. My heart literally shattered in to a million pieces that day, or so I think. Today was nothing like that, I went with him {of course I had to cause my car needs new tires immediately in order to not have a blow out, so we drove his truck}, I waited for him while they issued him a weapon. While waiting, his friend Sargent C asked how I was doing. He then told me he couldn't wait to get back from Afghanistan because by the time he gets back his daughter was going to be walking. That tore my heart up. I feel so sorry for people that leave children behind and miss out on so much. When hubby came back with his weapon I told him I better go. He walked me out to the truck, we kissed, we hugged {for a long time, we kissed again. He wiped away a few of my tears, told me he would see me later. I then got in the truck and left. I of course had to call my mom because I did start crying a little harder once he was out of my sight. It was a sad cry but I wasn't hysterical, if that makes sense. I had it together. We have known since July, and some days I repeated it over and over to myself. "Hubby is getting deployed,hubby is getting deployed,hubby is getting deployed. {Okay, you get the picture}I feel like I had enough time to "mentally" prepare.

My mirror is dirty.
This was me on our last night.

We were getting ready to head to the armory
to
drop him off.

Kiss<3
I will love this man for ever.
He makes my heart melt,
if you read this baby
I am here waiting on you!

God Speed!

Pray for the 45th infantry brigade

of Oklahoma.

Update

2011-02-26T21:41:00.001-06:00

Hubby and I took his mom out to a movie last night. We seen Hall Pass, I must admit it was hilarious. It was very dirty and it had some pretty graphic scenes though. We went because it was a "comedy", I must admit I was laughing so hard through the entire movie, I might have peed myself a little! These are a few pictures we got. I need to be better about taking more photos. I am hoping to get a new Nikon soon so I can mail hubby the camera to Afghan in order for him to capture some moments.

Hubby and his mom,
she is awesome
and
I could not have been blessed with a better
mother-in-law.

Yes, I have a muffin top. How do y'all like the red hair?

I hate the way the pics are to big but I wanted y'all to be able to see my red hair better.

Hope y'all like.

I have been okay today, it started off good till hubby started packing, we realized we forgot stuff so we had to make a trip to wal-mart. We had a fish-fry at his dads, said our good-byes. Now he has a friend over saying good-bye. It's funny how everyone wants to spend so much time with him now, but during the year they never have anything to do with us. *sigh* I'm not complaining but I just find it ironic, I have always heard that everyone comes out of the woodwork and it is true. Sometimes I wish we were active and lived on post so nobody had to pretend to give a flip. It also wouldn't make good-byes so hard. I'd rather just get it over with instead of being repeatedly reminded. Anyways, enough about my rant.

I have a tried to get caught up on blogs some, it has been in-between helping hubby pack and what not. I will catch up soon.

Good night everyone. Love y'all!

MIA

2011-02-24T21:25:00.000-06:00

I feel like I have not blogged nearly as much as I should, or kept updated on you! I promise I will soon.
I am spending the last few moments together with hubby. He leaves really really soon. I will post again after he leaves, you will know when he is gone. I will be back in full force, hopefully blogging about some interesting stuff.
Goodnight y'all, I have to fold some laundry then take a shower. I have school tomorrow!

Stye Cure? {EDIT}

2011-02-22T11:21:00.001-06:00

I woke up yesterday with a stye, it wasn't bad at all. It was annoying, as the day progressed it got worse. I woke up this morning to a stye so big. My eye is nearly half way swollen shut. I have tried everything, I have tried warm compresses and tea bags mostly. It felt good while doing it but right after I take the warmth off it hurts worse than before. I tried calling my NP to see if she would call me in some ointment or eye drops but she wants to see me before, well she has NO openings all week. Great. Now I am in pain, with a swollen itchy eye.

I was hoping one of you might have a secret trick?
I get styes every now and then, it seems that I get them after crying A LOT. This time it was right after studying a lot and crying a lot. My eyes were under a lot of strain.
I'm not looking for a miracle cure, I just want some relief.

EDIT***
I ended up going to an optometrist. He said that medications were not going to work because what I have isn't a typical stye. Mine is really deep in the tissue. He did lance a small opening and got some puss out, I can still feel a lot more puss though. In fact I have a hard ball at the very top on my inner eye ball. Yeah, it's gross. I hope it goes down tonight, I have school tomorrow. He told me to use hot wash clothes for 5 minute intervals then try to push down on the eye lid to release more puss. Gross. I should have been an optometrist though, it was pretty neat and I have a thing for popping pimples/blackheads, well I take that back, I should have been a dermatologist! Time to go put a hot rag on and squeeze some more puss out of my eyelid.
Sorry if this made anyone puke! I don't really have a weak stomach, thank God.

I PASSED! {Edit}

2011-02-21T10:46:00.001-06:00

This post is not meant to brag. I passed, I barely passed but I still passed.
I feel tons better after taking that test, it was hard and it was heavy on the nutrition part for renal disorders. Weird.
I passed barely, but I am very happy because over half of our class didn't do to hot on it.
Our teacher for this unit is very old, and she is NOT a good teacher anymore, it is hard to follow her.
Wednesday we start a new unit {pulmonary}, with a different {better} teacher!

EDIT***
I just looked online at my grades and I ended up with an 85%. I don't know if I got in to big of a rush this morning when grading, or if they gave us a few questions cause they felt they weren't fair.
Whatever it was oh well. I am super excited and I studied my tush off for this!

In Need of Prayers

2011-02-20T22:37:00.000-06:00

I need to get back in the groove of blogging regularly. I will once hubby leaves, promise.
This whole blog post today is about me in need of some serious prayers {if you pray}, if not cross every digit on your body and wish me good luck. I am taking the renal exam tomorrow. It is heavy on fluids and electrolytes of course, they were not learned so easy on my part. I struggled. I still struggle with them but I am getting the hang. I will post tomorrow hopefully with good news about my test.
I will be pretty busy the rest of the week with a care plan that is due on Wednesday, a Pulmonary Medication quiz, and the "goodbyes, I'll see ya laters".

This whole deployment thing is growing on me, I am just trying to stay strong until hubby leaves, I want to save the tears for private time. I don't want him to see how sad it really makes me because he told me the other day he is excited about this deployment and I feel like if I am to big of a cry baby I will ruin everything for him. He is excited and I don't want to rain on his parade. {I think thats the right saying?}

Good night bloggers, I love every single one of you! I have to get some brain rest before this big exam. It's worth 10% of my grade! YIKES!

Deployment Ceremony 2

2011-02-16T21:52:00.000-06:00

The deployment ceremony ended up being good. There were so many people there! It was an awesome turn out. Lets just say the Sergeant that sang the national anthem was a million times better than Christina Aguilera;)
No offense to any Christina fans, I do like her, just not that day.
Anyways here are some pics, I didn't get to many and I don't want to bore y'all.

I present to you

the 45th Infantry Brigade

Farewell Ceremony

This is our Governor Mary Fallin

I ended up having to take pics on the screen because there were so many people! Some of them aren't that great but you get the idea.

Deployment Ceremony

2011-02-15T12:32:00.000-06:00

The statewide deployment ceremony is tomorrow. I have decided to go for sure. My husbands entire family is going,{well, the important ones are}I am going to go with them. There are three people that are going to be missing school tomorrow for the same reason. We have a volunteer that is going to take notes and send them our way. In return we are going to split the price and buy a bath and body work gift card for the note taker! I have been flip flopping on this for a few weeks now, but I am going to go. This is the biggest deployment for OK since the Korean war. It is kind of a big deal. There is expected to be over 20,000 people attend. I am excited about it, sort of. I feel like this will be a way for me to accept the deployment more and sort of know it is real and it is coming. It is coming soon. Here shortly I will be doing everything alone, living alone, sleeping alone, eating alone, watching Grey's Anatomy alone.

This week has been rough, I have been waking up every night for the past three nights to horrible nightmares. They consist of me being in Afghanistan with my hubby and we are fighting in real combat. The dreams seem so real to me. They never end well. I guess they consist of my worst nightmares. I wish they would stop. I am tired of crying over something thats not real.

I have to get back to babysitting my nephew now. He is 15 months old now and he is a handful and a half!:) He is carrying my broom around the house. I caught him eating dog food earlier! Whoops.....

Valentines Day

2011-02-14T15:42:00.000-06:00

Now I know that Valentines day is a lame commercialized holiday and you shouldn't just give gifts this one day but I am going to post what we did and what we got for the day!

Hubby and I ate a nice lunch at a bbq place in the next town over today for lunch, he is working this evening so we had no choice really. I don't have school tomorrow though, so I am planning on watching a movie tonight and sleeping in tomorrow!

We haven't got our gifts yet because we ordered them online. I should get mine tomorrow and he will be getting his sometime before he leaves hopefully. We had problems with being overcharged on rangerjoes.com because there was a problem with shipping to PO Boxes. It was confusing, but it was not their fault at all, hubby didn't see that they couldn't do the express shipping to post office boxes, we got over charged cause they had to switch to slower shipping. Rangerjoes.com handle the matter awesomely! {Like me made up word!?}

I got the zebra top

with the "full coverage" bottoms on the right!

Hubby got very practical items. New pt gear, a new awesome ~~$40.00~~ flashlight, knife sharpener, socks, undies. He got over $170.00 worth of stuff, although none of it was super cool. It is just stuff he needs for the deployment, ~~since OK national guard is broke and won't issue him any new stuff.~~

What did you give and receive?

Did you and your S/O do anything or have any plans?

Rant of the Day

2011-02-13T13:01:00.001-06:00

Finds it very annoying that some people never talk to us {call us or text to see how we are doing,or ever answer the phone when we call}. X amount of days before my husband leaves someone texts and says you need to drive down to my house so we can visit and you can visit the kids his neices and nephews. I am sorry but she lives an hour away. We are limited on cash and it's not fair that someone can go ALL freaking year without calling or answering a phone call, but she expects us to drop what we are doing to go to her house. I am so sick of doing this crap, last deployment on leave we drove EVERYWHERE to see everyone. We are sick of it being one way. If people want to visit him before he leaves they need to come see him at our house. For one, we have we are going to go three weeks without a paycheck and so we can't really afford to drive to see everyone!

Now she is trying to play the "come see your niece and nephew card. Ugh.

I might add that this is the sister that told me on Christmas Eve 09' {we were already married} that if he got deployed again she was going to be his power of attorney and if anything happened to him she was going to get the money and I wouldn't see any. Are you kidding me? I will never forget that she said that. If she thinks my husband is an idiot she is wrong, he took me less than a week after getting married to change everything and get me life insurance. I haven't told her that every thing has been changed to me but how can I when she won't even answer the phone when we call.

I am tired of being run over by his family. This is going to be a crazy year without him.
His mom already got butt hurt, because I said from the looks of it they were only going to be able to make two phone calls a month. She said "so that means he is going to call you every time?"
I just want to burst, I love his mom but I am his wife, I have to stress over all the bills, I am the one that is in charge of our house while he is gone. I don't know if I am completely wrong about all this but hubby feels the same way.

EDIT*
One of my husbands friends just came over and was bragging about buying a $800 four-wheeler. He is on TANF, doesn't have a job, has two kids, gets food stamps. Yet it is okay for him to spend his tax refund stupidly on an Iphone 4,XBOX,Four-wheeler, etc.
Perfect example of why the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.
Stupid people. While the OK national guard is demoting people left and right in order to save money, these people can go blow their entire refund on stupid JUNK! Everything they brag about buying is tomorrows garage sale junk.

I am not in a good mood today, I need to take my medication.

Must Watch

2011-02-12T01:32:00.000-06:00

It is hilarious!

Oh, I dyed my hair burgandy! Ha, I still don't know what to think about it. I will try to remember to post pics to get some opinions. I needed a change. I was bored with life.

I am in a better mood today. My mom brought my brother down to stay with us for a week so he can spend time with hubby. She is staying the night also! I miss her so much all the time. She is one of my bff's ever.

Good night y'all, and thanks for cheering me up about my last post. I will comment back soon, I promise. I have been spending time with family, hubby has the whole weekend off so I will be hanging out with him in between study sessions!

Have an amazing weekend!

Fail

2011-02-10T22:07:00.000-06:00

Where to begin...
I just failed my medication quiz. It was overly hard, the teacher pulled some questions out of her ~~ass~~, obviously she is doing something wrong because the entire class failed. I am so mad at myself, but I studied hard. I knew the drugs. This is the first time I have ever failed. I use the term "fail" loosely because I made a 65%, but anything under a 75% is failing in nursing. Yay me, I failed my first assignment in my student nursing career. I feel like such a tard. I am a good student, that makes good grades. I don't aim for perfection but geez a 65% is horrible.

The sad part is I thought I was doing good. I thought I had the majority of the questions right. Some were tricky with 2 or 3 possible answers. I had enough time to answer them all, I wasn't rushed but still I failed.
I am not going to let this get me down, but this makes me that much more scared about the Renal exam. I am more than likely not going to my husbands deployment ceremony. Bad wife, I know. I have other priorities, school is important. I have to get my RN. I know my husband will understand, in fact, he is telling me NOT to go. So please don't be negative. He is a soldier, but I am not letting the term "military wife" be the one and only thing that defines me. I can't always let the military win, I am dying to have the title RN one day soon.{Wow, this is a post for another day}.

I want to cry, but honestly I don't even know how to anymore. The past two days have been rough with the deployment coming up so closely. I am so numb to everything right now.
I hope y'all have had a wonderful week, and an even better weekend that is coming up so quickly! Sorry this post is so sad. Hopefully I have happier ones to come!

I feel like I may go barf now.

School and Clinical Update

2011-02-09T21:36:00.000-06:00

School was cancelled again today. Surprise, surprise. I have two more school days till we take our test over Renal, we have not had one single lecture over it. I am having to teach myself, and boy the snow couldn't have picked a better time to come. NOT. I am so tired of sitting at home. The teachers are bogging us down with busy work that is taking time away from studying and trying to learn the material. I also have to miss a day next week because of the deployment ceremony. Not cool, it's the review day before the test. Hubby is trying to get me not to go to the ceremony because he isn't going to be able to ride with me, and it is boring because a bunch of people talk about unnecessary things. I don't blame him for trying to talk me out of it, but I can't be the "bad wife" that doesn't attend. It just wouldn't be right. I know deep down inside that he will need my support.

I guess I am trying to say I am prepared to fail the Renal exam.

On a brighter note,
clinicals went well yesterday. I didn't get to do anything fun and my patient was rather boring because she was very independent and needed little help. She had a total knee replacement. I practically just gave meds all day and flushed her saline lock.

I have been on the computer for hours now doing homework, so I am going to sign off for the night and relax some. Good night y'all!

Med/Surg

2011-02-08T21:03:00.000-06:00

As you all know, I had med/surg clinicals today. I hated them, again. My hate for med/surg was stronger today then it has been. My patient was fine, I didn't really get to do anything new today. I got to flush her saline lock, I got to watch her IV being changed to a saline lock. My patient had a total knee replacement, she was very independent. She refused AM care so I literally had nothing to do for a long time.

Some days I really wonder what I am doing with nursing, I am just waiting for some specialty area to come and hit me in the face telling me that was what I was made for! I hate med/surg. Every time it is worse than the time before, I feel like med-surg isn't fast paced enough but I know that is wrong. I only take care of one patient right now! Something about that floor just isn't the fun and exciting that I need, I could see myself on that floor maybe years down the road but right now {after school}, I think I want to be somewhere where all the "stuff" happens. I know half the day we spent down in the ER was fun, and I am excited about going back there. The more I think about L&D I get excited also, I always said I would NEVER work in L&D, but I think that I might change my mind!

I am trying not to get to down about med/surg. I know some people love it, and it really isn't a bad floor. I have just found it to be a bad experience for me that last few times. I am sure it doesn't help any that I get 4 hours of sleep the night before, so I am so tired the day of clinicals. I will be taking tylenol pm next week.

Clinicals and Advice Needed

2011-02-07T21:20:00.001-06:00

Finally got to go back to school today! Whoohoo! Lecture wasn't all that great though, the teacher couldn't seem to stay on track and some sentences took her at least five minutes to get out!

Tomorrow is my first day back at clinicals. I am doing Med-Surg tomorrow. I am not to fond of Med-Surg, but I will suck it up and move on. The worst part is going to be waking up at 0400 and not getting out of clinicals till after 1630, plus I have an hour drive home. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.

Hopefully after clinicals I will have a chance to update about my day. I hope I get to see something tomorrow other than the usual, not to wish death on anyone but working a code would be fun. I still haven't got to do it, I doubt I would be able to even move! haha! I just want something to do other than assissting elderly go to the bathroom,pick out their food for the next day,and do all of their A.M care. { I am already a CNA, I have worked as one for 2 weeks shy of one year} I might sound bad but I want to do some skills I have been taught to do, I am eager to learn!

How was your first code? Were you scared?

Your advice is needed: I have only received one flu shot during my entire life. I am debating on getting one since I am doing work in a hospital right smack dab in the middle of Flu season. I did work in a nursing home last year and I didn't get sick other than a minor cold here and there, or a 24 hour bug. What are y'alls opinions on the Flu shot? I am going to be a nurse so I know I should be all vaccined out, but honestly the flu shot scares me for some reason, I guess I need to grow up and do my research.

Coach Purse Giveaway!

2011-02-06T20:43:00.000-06:00

Ladies, Megan over at Mackey Madness is giving away a Coach purse! It is pink and brown. She has been wanting to do a give-away for awhile but could never decide what she wanted to giveaway, until her husband thought that maybe she could give away the purse that her ex bought her! Haha! Husbands are so funny in their own ways.

Megan is an awesome nurse that has helped me out some, she has a pretty neat blog so you should follow her and check out what goes on in her life!:)

In order to apply for the give-away you have to be a follow of hers. For one entry leave her a comment stating why you love blogging so much. For two extra entries blog about it on your page!

It is slightly used, she said she has used it about 3 times.

It is a coach purse, and if you are anything like me I can't afford one!

{My husband is a tight wad that saves and nursing school nickels and dimes me}

haha.

Go follow her!

She is pure awesome!

Nursing Books Galore

2011-02-05T22:37:00.001-06:00

I just entered my first give-away!

The give away is tomorrow though!

I tried to look at it a few days ago but it wasn't loading right and I just got back around the computer! I am pretty excited about the giveaway! So excited I might pee if I win.

See, I keep EVERY single book that has to do with my major(nursing).

I plan on keeping them all even after I graduate,to put in a home office that I hope to have. I plan on going further, getting my BSN, then becoming a nurse practitioner or a CRNA.

Anyways, I bet you want to know who is doing this awesome giveaway and what the giveaway is?!

Head over and give Julie@When Your Feet Don't Touch The Ground a visit to check out this give-away. Tomorrow is the last day though! Sorry, I would have posted sooner if I hadn't had problems viewing it.

These little nifty books are awesome, she doesn't need them anymore and she is giving them away to spare them from the trash can! These books are over 40.00 on amazon.com, this is a steal!

Random Picture Day

2011-02-03T18:25:00.000-06:00

Since I am snowed in and cannot possibly look at another piece of homework for even a tenth of a second, I have decided to upload some random pictures. Some are old, some are newer.

Us counter protesting at a funeral of an American Soldier, The Westboro Baptist Church{CULT} is under the big tree to the right of the church steeple. If you haven't heard of the Westboro Baptist Church click here to read about them. You can also read more about the protest here. Britney @ These Talking Walls and I met up at the protest.

The snow in my yard today. Don't mind the can of corn, there were stray dogs digging in my trash and hubby failed to pick up that one can. lol

The artwork on the school wall, where my niece attends.

Me showing off, and my pug is being a creep.
Jan 2011

I lost ten pounds so I was flaunting it, trust me I have gained it ALL back I am sure!

I love bulldogs ♥

Me picking up sea shells at Corpus Christie last year.

My pretty Pit Bull
2009

Haha. Old Cheerleading picture.
2006? I believe.

Leave from Iraq.
Summer of 2008

Riding in my friends Old School Cadillac, haha.
2008

Hubby at the lake.
2009

Me and my grandpa.
He had Lougherig's Disease.
I miss him and love him. ♥

Snow man my hubby made
2010

Me and my brother in law and our huge snowman.
2010

Me
Last winter.

Our first trip to the zoo as a couple.
2009

Dear Stupid Winter Storm,

2011-02-03T17:46:00.000-06:00

Stupid Winter Storm,
You are making my life extremely difficult. I have only been to school one day this week, I am four hours behind on lecture. I missed one day of clinicals due to you. I have probably gained ten pounds this week, mostly my fault but hey I blame you. I want a warm sun shiny day that involves me going to school, learning, and being productive. I have had enough of you so PLEASE go away and don't you even think about coming back till next year!

PS. All because of you I am stranded at my house, I can't get my husbands truck out of the drive, and he took my car to work! Now this makes for a looong night.

PSS. The 2-4 inches of ice needs to melt off the highways asap so I can return to school on Monday.

Renal System Failure

2011-02-02T22:50:00.001-06:00

So here is the deal,
I just got through studying for an hour just over Na and K {Sodium and Potassium}, and reviewing over the anatomy and physiology of the renal system.
I have officially decided that this unit is going to be the death of me.
I am terrified of Renal, and I have been since I started the program!
Any of you nurses or doctors {Dr.Army Wife} Have any tips or hints for me?
This unit alone has over 7 chapters I have to read, I have NO idea how I am going to find that much time to read every bit of it.
The sophomores are trying to scare us all saying only 1/3 of the class last year passed this test!

I don't want to be automatically set up for failure or labeled that I am automatically going to fail.

I am determined to pass this exam.

I am determined to understand the material.

I am determined to learn to love renal and electrolytes.

I am a smart student, this is just a hard topic for me.

Sigh..I need some good pointers from veteran nursing students or medical students;)

Pwetty pwease, with a cherry on top!

I edited to add a beautiful picture of the renal system, I left out the interior view of the kidneys because I don't like how complicated they are!

Random

2011-02-02T19:44:00.000-06:00

This blizzard that we have had in OK has been awesome to us. I have been out of school for three days counting tomorrow and my husband has been off work for two days so far! It isn't going to be good for our bank account, but so what. I have loved spending time with him! It has been amazing and so much fun, it is JUST what I needed to get through. This deployment has had me depressed but I know he is doing it for a good reason and I don't doubt for one second that we won't kick this deployment in the butt, we will make it and we will do an awesome job at it. I am sure going to miss him annoying me all the time though;) He is truly my best friend, and I am so excited that I can say that. So many women I know gripe about their men all day long.

Well to catch y'all up about me, I am officially unemployed, I quit my job yesterday. My boss put me on Saturdays and Sundays without my permission, I told him I couldn't work both days and I wouldn't since my husband was deploying, I need time to spend with him before he leaves. He told me he would just take me off the schedule for good, and you know what? I am happy with that. I am no longer working as a CNA {might I add, being a CNA is the hardest job I have EVER had}. As soon as hubby deploys I am going to start applying at the hospital I do clinicals at, I am hoping to get an ER nurse tech position. I am interested in working ER, so I am hoping it helps me get some experience and I can see what ER is like.

We filed our taxes today and boy did we get screwed compared to last year. Last year we got over 4 grand back. This year we got 500 from federal and we owe like 200 to state! I am pretty upset cause that is the money that was going to support us while husband is in-between paychecks! Oh well, I guess its my fault. The lady told me I only paid $1.00 in to state and 0.46 in to federal! I filled out my own w-4 and had it to where I was married and claiming 0, that way they would take out the max taxes each check. I am guessing whoever entered it into the computer messed up. I never thought to look to see how much taxes where being withheld during the year! WHOOPS! I guess you learn as you go, I am young and I will make mistakes! I will know better this year when I find a job!

Whew, this is a long post! If you made it through congrats! Well, hubby is playing xbox right now and so I better get busy on some homework I have been assigned through email. It seems as if we are being punished because of our snow days! They have sure handed out the homework like it is going out of style!

Talk to y'all later next time, and I promise I will catch up on reading blogs asap!

Attention:Military Moms

2011-01-30T16:00:00.000-06:00

My friend introduced me to a business on Facebook. This lady has some of the cutest stuff that is military related. She has children's clothing, headbands, and purses. I would love to have a baby that I could dress up in some of the cute stuff that she has. Since so many of you followers are military, I thought I would share with you. I have never personally ordered from her and she did not put me up to this, I am not getting paid either. I am only doing it because I know that many of you are military and have children and children on the way! If I had children to clothe I would so be buying some of these items!

Kaylee's Closet can be found on Facebook here. She is PCSing soon and will only be taking orders till mid February.

Cute little model

Headband

I just love this dress!

I love this too!

Little adorable booties

Just precious!

These photos are not mine and belong to Kaylee's Closet.

MilSpouse Vent

2011-01-30T15:10:00.000-06:00

This is a serious vent of my experience with our new unit. It is all over the place and probably doesn't make much sense if you aren't familiar with some military.

My amazing husband has been threatened twice today to be demoted! My husband has been in the Army National Guard for SIX ~~stinking~~ years and has never been in trouble! My husband was transferred a few months back because he agreed to extend his contract long enough to deploy. This new unit has been nothing but a bad experience for both of us. This unit has officially changed our minds on ever going active. No way Jose', after this deployment he will be strictly a civilian, no more military for us.

I have been thinking a lot today, I honestly think the Ok National Guard is demoting everyone to be more cost efficient during the deployment. One of my husbands battles had a flat tire or something and was like 5 minutes late and was demoted! I mean that is unnecessary. Life happens, flat tires happen, wrecks happen, children having to use the bathroom at the most inconvenient time happens.

Life just flat out happens, and people need to be aware of that.

This unit has been absolutely ridiculous for the past few months. My husband was threatened twice today as stated above, the first time was over not having his long sleeve PT shirt, the second time was over not having his raffle tickets brought back. After being threatened the first time he called and was really mad because they were never told to wear long sleeves and it was no where stated in their monthly drill letter. The second threat was over him not returning raffle tickets today, which they did not state a specific date for them to be returned. He called back again, saying I had to make the hour drive{one way} to bring them to him cause they were in my car! What? Can't I mail them? It is a few stupid pieces of paper! I was furious at this point, I get my butt in my car and head out for my hour drive, because they wouldn't allow me to mail them! I returned them to him and am now hoping we have 0 problems out of this unit again.

This was the biggest mistake we have ever made, and that may sound bad but this unit is so unorganized and so chaotic.My husband wants nothing more than to serve this country that we love so much but this unit has made it such a horrible experience that we want to get out as quick as we can and NEVER look back. I know that not all units are like this, we had an awesome unit before he was transferred. I wish he could go back in time and tell them he wouldn't extend. Asking him to not extend would be like asking him to jump off a bridge. He loves this country and he loves having the chance to serve for us. He is a selfless man just like {mostly} every other military member. They don't do it for the money, obviously but it is nice to receive the pay you deserve.

Walking around on egg shells is no fun, and being so scared of demotion that you carry EVERY single piece of gear in your truck, and you military wives can agree with me I am sure, there is A S**T TON of military gear. I can almost bet you hate it as much as I do, it takes up nearly a whole entire room of ours.

Please, tell me that y'all have bad days like this. I don't want to be the only one and I don't want y'all to think I am horrible for saying some of the things I have said. I hope some of y'all can at empathize with me if you don't fully understand where I am coming from.

Blah Day

2011-01-28T12:10:00.001-06:00

Today is a blah day! I am being an emotional woman! Sometimes I wish I was a man so I wouldn't "feel" as much.

I made a 90% on my IV Calc. test, I am happy about it but I don't know what I did wrong! I am going to ask to see my test tomorrow.

We found out today that hubby leaves pretty soon for a week in the field training I guess, I am so glad that the National Guard is so considerate and gives us enough time to get financial stuff straightened out before he has to take off work! We never get paid on the correct day so him taking off work always puts us in a bind . I know it is my husbands duty to report when called but I wish they would give us a little more notice on some stuff, I mean heck we knew about the deployment for OVER seven months, what is so hard about notifying earlier when he is going to have to take off work for a week. I can already tell this deployment is going to be so much fun this year, and if OK doesn't get their pay right I am going to scream. Military pay is supposed to be on the 1st and the 15th. We usually get ours whenever they feel like it.

That is all of my rant for the day,aren't you so glad?

I want to thank all my readers! Y'alls comments help me get through most of my days! I appreciate y'all so much!

XBOX Humor

2011-01-27T19:56:00.000-06:00

Just a little humor that hubby and I thought was funny! :) I so understood this the other day!

School

2011-01-27T16:31:00.000-06:00

Woke up this morning thinking today was the IV calculation exam. I was freaking out on the verge of having a breakdown cause I haven't looked over that stuff since last week. I called my friend asking what time we were taking it and getting all the details, well my friend saved my life and reminded me the test is tomorrow! So there is some hope, I can study and refresh tonight, then tomorrow I can make an A!

Not a whole lot has been going on except for school. I go to school, come home, then study. My life is boring and I am beginning to think I need to find time for some friends.

I start my Medical-Surgical clinicals next week, I am excited because we won't be in class everyday anymore! Whoo! I am also bummed because I hate Med-Surg with a firey passion. I just don't care for it and it's not my cup of tea, hopefully this semester is a lot better on the Med-Surg floor.

I guess it is back to studying for me, I need to read some in my awesome Med-Surg book, then go over the calcs. I also have laundry and dishes on top of all of that!

Whew, there are just not enough hours in the day!

Big D and OPSEC

2011-01-26T20:06:00.000-06:00

Deployment is right around the corner, lets just say there are just a few pages left in my planner till the big day comes. I am so not looking forward till it, but I must say that he will be training for awhile before he actually leaves the states. I hope I didn't break OPSEC here. Anyways, we are accomplishing our pre-deployment goals slowly but surely. Today we bought a new door knob for our front door, our old one was a piece. We also got the Power of Attorney paperwork notarized, and we discussed what type of life saving measurements he wants "if" something is to happen to him. I feel like we are accomplishing things. We are able to talk about the important stuff that bothers so many, I would rather talk about stuff and have it out in the open before he goes. We know what we might be facing.
I have also decided today that I really really want to move. My husband being the smart $$$ saver that he is won't allow me to though since his mom owns this house and we live here rent free,my husband always jokes and says if you live with your parents long enough they will eventually move out! So now that I am not moving I am going to have to buy a dog kennel to keep my dogs in while I am away during school and clinicals, cause God knows how bad 3 dogs would destroy a house in 12 hours!

Not my house, but this is what it would look like after my dogs got a hold of it for twelve hours!

Oh I found some good OPSEC poster dilly-whoopers! I liked them and I will pass them on to you!

Kind of rude,but I find the profanity funny.

My hubby loves Chuck Norris jokes!

Monster to Deployed Soldiers

2011-01-24T20:07:00.002-06:00

Anyone that is for the military and has a Facebook account please go here! Add Joshua Bourdon and like his post about Monster Energy Drinks. He asked them to help get cases to Afghanistan for his brother and fellow soldiers. If he gets 1000 likes they will supply them with drinks for a year. They are at 888 as of right now! I am all for free stuff like this to the military and it sounds very real so what can it hurt? I say give it a try and lets see if any of our husbands get some Monster! I doubt Monster is very good to drink ALL the time, but what hurts to have one or two drinks occasionally. They need something from home, and what manly man doesn't like Monster? If you do it thanks in advance!

{EDIT} I thought I would add a picture for you, just in case you didn't know what Monster was.

Proud Military Wives

2011-01-24T18:37:00.000-06:00

My friend Haley took this picture, I just find it so cute and inspirational! She is the one I always talk about in every other post of mine. I miss this girl like crazy. She is literally my best friend, even though we are states away I still love her and she knows it!

Serious Vent

2011-01-23T21:10:00.000-06:00

I understand that my husband is about to be deployed, blah blah blah. I have been hearing it for 7 months now.
I understand that he wants to have fun before he leaves and do the things he likes, but playing Modern Warfare 2 for several hours a day is just plain rude in my opinion. He is like a vegetable and honestly it is like he has already left, I feel neglected. I know that we are both very emotionally unstable right now. All I ask of him is that he spends a little time with me when I am home! During the week I RARELY ever see him, by the time I get home he is already at work. He has been playing the stupid xbox since we got home from the yellow ribbon program earlier this afternoon.

I literally just asked him if he wanted to hang out with me, he didn't say a ~~damn~~ thing, he looked at me with this stupid deer in headlights look then went and joined another game. I can't handle this anymore. I am going to explode,and it is not going to be good. I am going to smash the xbox with a hammer, I can just feel it.

Ahh, how good it feels to vent away from the husband. I am sure if he has internet while deployed he might end up reading this one day. {Babe,if you ever read this, I am sorry that I felt like this, I spared your feelings and blurted mine out to the entire world! It was better than getting into a stupid argument over a stupid gaming system. I love you}

The yellow ribbon program was amazing, and we learned some pretty awesome tips on how to save some money while deployed. I am pretty excited and I think we can actually save as much as we want, plus some! We are saving for a down payment on a house, that is the only reason my hubby volunteered to go again.

Support Our Troops

2011-01-21T23:46:00.000-06:00

We have the Yellow Ribbon Ceremony tomorrow and Sunday, I am hoping that we get some good briefings over the weekend, I have never been to a Yellow Ribbon Ceremony Pre-Deployment, the last time I went was after the hubby came home from Iraq. We are getting out of the house for a night so I am pretty excited about that, new scenery and new friends!

I have to get back to packing. We leave out very early in the morning!

I PASSED

2011-01-20T15:32:00.000-06:00

I PASSED MY DOSAGE EXAM W/ A 100%

I am pretty excited, I wasn't to worried about it but still, I had to have at least a 90% and I made a 100%! Today was a pretty good day, we got our clinical schedule, I am fairly happy with mine. I have 6 Medical-Surgical days, 1 OR day, 1 Dialysis day, 1 Oncology day, 2 days at a head start to do the Denver Developmental thing, 1 Hospice day, and 1 Home Health day. This semester we are just doing everything it seems like and I don't feel like we are getting enough days in. I do know that our Medical-Surgical days are LONG days, we go from 0630-1630. This means I will have to wake up by 0430 and I won't be home till around 1800. Blah. Those days are going to be tiring.

Today I got out of school a little before three, and my husband works the evening shift at his job so as I was coming in to town he was leaving town. We passed each other and waved, I will be in bed before he gets home. It has been like this the entire week. I haven't been able to spend anytime with him, besides me waking him up early in the morning while I am getting ready so we can at least drink a cup of coffee together. I guess my schedule is forcing me to get used to him going away. I am okay with it now, but I really wish I had more time to spend with him while he is home.

This weekend we are heading to the city for the Yellow Ribbon Ceremony, so we will have some alone time this weekend. I plan on going and watching a movie together and out to eat at a steak house:) Yum yum, I bet the hubby will love that!

I am so sorry but I have to go, I have 3 chapters that I have to read out of my Med-Surge book

Wednesday Night Study Group

2011-01-19T22:42:00.000-06:00

My study group on a regular basis,

the pug thinks he has to help me with everything,

and the pit bull just has to lay all over everything!

Isn't this expression just to cute to resist?

Panting Pug and sleepy Pit.

Snuggled on Mommas' blanket!

Sorry about the bad image, this was taken on my iphone and the lighting was bad.

School,Emotions,Weight Loss

2011-01-19T20:23:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow is the first dosage exam of the semester. It is 10 questions and we can only miss one! I got this but I am worried for some people. We have 2 retakes I believe so that will give them time to fix it. I am hoping everyone passes and no one even has to take the retake. We have already lost 3 people since August!

Anyways,

One of my teachers came up to me today and asked when my husband left out. I told her it was coming up pretty quickly. She told me if I needed any time off that the program would understand. I felt so relieved that I know they support me. I didn't know how it was going to be. I don't want time off necessarily but I would like to have the day off to send him away and watch him load the buses. I don't know why but I feel like it will help me cope. I also might need the day after he leaves off. I might just be an emotional wreck that day. I have so many emotions running through my head right now, I feel like just crying and screaming but I am pretty numb to it all. We have known since JULY that he was going. Yes, we were lucky and knew 7 months prior. I have gotten used to the idea of being alone, but I know it will probably hit me hard when he leaves. I have only broken down once or twice since we found out. I keep telling myself over and over that he is getting deployed hoping that saying it to myself will make me get a grip on the reality that is coming very soon. I doubt any of it helps but I am trying!

On to something else,

About my diet. I haven't exactly been following it like I should. I have eaten "bad stuff" for the last two days. I haven't worked out cause I have been so exhausted from school work. I don't know how this is going to go now that school has started back up. I plan on working out at least 3-5 times a week but I seriously never have time to work out. I really want to lose this weight, everyone told me it is going to be super hard doing it while in school, and now I am beginning to believe them. I can do it but I doubt I will lose the weight as fast as I want. I am going to have to start packing my lunch I think. Eating out 3-5 times a week is going to kill my belly and my wallet.

Anyways if you have made it through this entire post I applaud you! It was super long but I never have the chance to write anymore. So I thought I would update you about everything while I had the chance! I have to go study for that dosage exam now! Good night everyone!

MilSpouse Inspiration

2011-01-17T20:18:00.000-06:00

♥♥Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It's for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough♥♥

I found this on a friends FB earlier and I loved it so much I reposted as my status and am now posting it for y'all to read! It is now time for me to get my lazy butt up and make myself workout. I cheated on my diet today{Kids Chicken Strip Meal,with Fries, and a small Vanilla Shake}, so yes...I have got to work out. NOW!

Days 8,9,10

2011-01-16T22:51:00.000-06:00

So I have gotten really distracted and have not kept up with this daily like I should. School has officially gotten the best of me, speaking of school, my Davis Drug guide is waiting patiently for me to open it and learn some drugs! I am so ecstatic about that, I really don't like trying to remember the drugs, plus remembering that many comes with time. I can't possibly remember every little detail about one drug {hello, isn't that why there is a drug guide at every nurses station?} Wow, I got side tracked.

Back to the 30 day challenge thingy, that has become a pain in my butt somewhat.

Day 8-My favorite internet friend- This question is really hard for me, I even went through my FB friends. I know every single one of them some way, there are a few I haven't met though. Honestly, I love all my internet friends. Anyone who happened to stumble upon my blog and follow me. Y'all mean everything to me. I have a huge support team behind me floating around in cyber space;)

Day 9-Someone you wish you could meet-I wish I could meet Reyna Lay over at Glamour Glory, click here to go to her fantabulous blog! She has been a huge inspiration for me, because of her I have lost ten pounds and I have received the motivation I need to workout and begin to turn my life around to be healthier. Go check out her page, she is such an awesome person!

Day 10-Someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like to- This would be my friend Hays that lives in WA. I have talked about her before. He husband went active when the recession hit OK very hard. There were no jobs to be found and he had a family to provide for. It was the best decision they could have made, and it turns out that he is thinking career Army now. They are going to do so much better in life now, getting out of OK to see the world is a huge dream of any Okie! If I could talk to Hay right now, I would tell her I loved her and I miss her like crazy. Can't wait to make a trip up there this summer, hopefully. {Keeping fingers crossed that I can somehow manage to find the time to take a week long trip there!} I would get emotional and cry, then she would laugh and tell me she loved me too. I miss you Hays.

That is all for tonight, I am ~~pooped~~ tired and I like I mentioned above, I have a few drugs that I need to memorize before Tuesday.
Goodnight y'all! {In a southern Okie voice}

Guess What?{Edit}

2011-01-15T18:52:00.001-06:00

Hey lovely ladies! I was curious today and I weighed myself, I am proud to say that I am officially under 170. I now weigh 169.4. I am SO HAPPY. I did it, now if I can get under 160!
I am going out, I have made a new friend and she is having a passion party tonight;)
I have pictures I will be posting later

{Edit}I can't find our adapter for our camera so no pictures today. This ticks me off cause they were cute pics, I was all dressed up for a change! Maybe I will find it tomorrow, maybe not. I am babysitting tomorrow- a 14 month old and a 7 year old. Pray for me please, I might just lose my sanity.

Less Stress/IV Calculations

2011-01-14T22:57:00.000-06:00

By less stress, I mean....LESS STRESS!
I went to school today and they handed us a 8 page worksheet on IV calculations and what not, we even learned the drop factor. I have successfully completed the paper and I am confident that I know what I am doing! It wasn't what I made it out to be at all! I am crazy for thinking IV Calc's. were going to be the death of me!

I do have one minor question though to any RN's/RN Students out there...feel free to answer cause I need your help to make sure I got it right!
The order is Kefzol 500 mg in 50 cc of D5W. Administer med over 20 min. What rate will you set the pump?
I did (50cc/20 min)(60min)=150 mL/hr

Please,Please tell me I am correct?! That is the only one I had to think twice about because since it is under one hour I had to multiply by 60.

I am so happy, I am out of school Monday so I have a 3 day weekend! Now if only I can spend it wisely. Today I spent about 4-6 hours on homework and studying alone. I am now ahead, but I still have more I could do! I really do feel accomplished though! My hubby is almost off work so I am going to wrap this thing up and spend some time with him! Have an awesome night blogging buddies:)

Nursing School=HELL

2011-01-13T18:05:00.000-06:00

First day back was well. Until we were handed a 300+ vocab list for this unit, they said have fun making flash cards! Just great, last semester we were given the definitions which was so nice and easy. Now we have to waste more time looking up words. On our dosage exams we have to make a 90% in order to pass and we have 1 retake. This means..I better start figuring IV calculations ASAP!
I am just very overwhelmed at the moment. There is so much to do in so little time! I probably won't be blogging very much anymore, but I will try to update at least weekly! Blogging has helped me relieve a lot of stress.

This is exactly how I feel right about now!

I guess I am going to get to those vocabulary words so I can get some done! Talk to y'all later! I will miss y'all!

Day 6 & 7

2011-01-12T17:46:00.000-06:00

Day 6- A stranger
I don't really understand this. Here goes anyways. When I first started college I worked at a gas station. One night there was an older smelly man that had horrible hygiene that came in and paid for his gas. He left his wallet on the counter and left. I didn't know who the man was or where he lived so I pulled his ID out of his wallet and started looking in the phone book for his number. I came across a number that I thought might be his and I called, there was no answer so I left a voice mail. I put the wallet in the counter drawer and left a note for the day shift ladies. The next day when I returned to work my boss handed me $40 and told me that it was from the man who left the wallet. I felt so guilty that I had judged him, he didn't know me at all and he just left $40 for me because I returned his wallet! I thought it was crazy, he impacted me very much and to this day I try to think before I judge and give people a chance.

Day 7- Your EX bf/gf/love/crush
Ha, this is funny cause my husband is actually my ex. We broke up on and off till we finally decided that we were supposed to be together. We hit a pretty rough patch in our relationship during his 07-08 deployment. When he got leave we met up and have been together ever since! We have been together since July 4th, 2008 without any breakups:) Now we are married and have no choice but to make it work! I love him so much and we have both grown up to be pretty good people!

Weigh In

2011-01-10T19:40:00.000-06:00

I started my diet/exercise plan a few days before New Year. I am not for sure what day I was actually weighed but I know my starting weight was 177. I weighed in today and I weigh 171! I have lost a total of 6 pounds and I could not be happier! I have been working out 5-6 times a week, doing some cardio workouts, small weights, and walking/jogging a mile when the weather permits. I am on cloud nine right now! Losing weight felt impossible! I have changed my diet following some of Reyna@Glamour Glory tips. Which you can read about here. She is awesome and she has motivated me so much! Reading her posts and seeing her before and after pictures have inspired me! She is an awesome person! Go check out her page and see what I am talking about! I would like to get down to my healthy weight which is around 135-145. I will be happy at 140. I have always fluctuated between those weights until I got on the nasty Depo-Provera shot {birthcontrol}, and I started school! I have about 31 more pounds to lose! I am hoping to be able to lose my weight by the time I start school back in August. I plan on maintaining my weight from there with regular exercise and healthier choices!
Gosh, I am still just so excited!

I have one question for you though...I am interested in taking the Whey Protein supplement they sell at Walmart but my husband told me not to because that is to get bulky. Is that true? What would you suggest?

Dreams

2011-01-10T15:11:00.000-06:00

I go back to school on Thursday and I hate to say it but I am dreading being back in the classroom. I have more to look forward to but we are starting RENAL as soon as we get back! I have heard sophomore nursing students say that test was the hardest one, and many of them failed it. This is why I dread going back. I have gotten so lazy over the break, the only thing I can force myself to do is workout. I hope school goes well but we have a new teacher this semester, so I am sure it is going to be a massive pain in the butt. Anyways, moving on. I am applying for a Nurse Tech, Externship at two different hospitals. If I get one, it means I am moving back in with my grandma and mom for 8 weeks. The thought of this makes me cringe, but at the same time I like the idea. I won't be so lonely over the summer. I cringe at the thought because more than a day or two together and we start fighting over stupid stuff. We are all loud and obnoxious women and when we all get together we practically scream when we are having a conversation. It will definitely make for an interesting summer. I have friends closer to there so that is a plus, but I will have to get internet there because my grandma and mom are still in the stone age and don't even own a computer! I don't understand how people still don't have computers. I wouldn't be able to function without one, much less do my school work. Everything is on the computer now days! Yikes!!

On to day 5 of the challenge.
Day 5-Your dream(s).

I was going over all of my dreams earlier, they are all grown-upy {don't laugh at my made up word!}, I wish I was a kid so I could give y'all something fun to read on this post. I have the normal dreams for an adult! Finish school, become an RN, go back and get my bachelors, then apply for Nurse Anethesist {CRNA} school. Possibly join the Air Force to go to CRNA school,buy a house after deployment, have kids {one day},live a long happy cancer free life! Well my dreams are far from exciting but I guess that is what happens when you have to grow up!
What are some of your dreams?

Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

2011-01-09T15:25:00.000-06:00

My husband and I went out and bought the Xbox Kinect last night. I have been begging for it for a little over two weeks now because I want to start the biggest loser workout on it. We just got the Kinect last night and the Adventure game it came with. The game is freaking awesome! I love it, and it is such a good workout. Hubby and I stayed up till over 3 am playing on it! We had so much fun! We played some today, now he is on xbox live with a buddy of his. I thought that I had been neglecting my blog, so I better get to typing! I also bought a new book last night! It's called "Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea", it's written by Chelsea Handler, the one who does Chelsea lately! I just love her she is hilarious! I am hoping to read it before I go back to school on Thursday! Anyways, I have to catch up on my 30 day challenge thingy!

Day 3-My Parents
Oh geeze. Where to start? My mother is my rock, she is one of my best friends. She depends on me so much as I do her. She was a single mother practically all of our lives. I was about 3 when she FINALLY left my ~~dad~~, sperm donor.
On to my sperm donor, he was my moms' highschool sweetheart, but he was also the town drunk. He beat my mom for 10+ years, although one good thing about him was he never hurt me, my brother, or my sister. He never paid child support voluntarily. He owes 63,000+ and still growing. He is in prison right now for child support but he hasn't been in long and he is already about to get out. Oh, he sent me a birthday card once. Ha! My birthday is in July, he sent the card in August. What a ~~freaking great dad~~. NOT.
Now my step dad. I don't really care for him but at least he's here. Okay, I take that back. I'd rather him be gone and out of my life. He is a ~~prick~~. He acts like he is about ten. I would so die of laughter if he ever seen this!
That is the parent side and this is my dysfunctional life!:)

Day 4-Your sibling {at least we are getting the family part over with in one day}.
I have an older sister, she has Autism. She is one of the smartest handicap people I have ever known! She is slick and she KNOWS how to get her way. She has violent outbursts if she doesn't get her way so we try to avoid them at all costs! She is severely Autistic, she isn't really verbal, she signs everything that she needs. She is an awesome person, I love her so much. She can make me smile when I'm in the worst mood!
I have a younger brother, he reads my blog also so I better talk nice! {Haha, Love you Kyle}. He is super smart, he plays guitar {and he is super good}, he likes to make movies. He will go far in life, and will achieve anything he wants to if he tries hard enough. {But, remember kyle. You need to have a back up plan!}
I love my siblings so much and I could not have been given better ones!