Hospital 2

I chose the GREAT hospital! I am going to WA sometime soon, after that I am headed back home to pack up some stuff so I can go live my family for the summer! I am pretty excited, but I am scared that it might be weird moving in with my grandma over the summer. We will be fine though, my mom lives with her now in order to help her out more. I found out some pretty saddening stuff about my grandmas health and I am hoping I get to spend a lot of time with her this summer.

I miss my husband today more than ever. He hates his job, he hates this deployment. Today we talked about life...and death. We talked about the different possible scenarios. There are so many different things that could happen so I am really trying to stay positive.

Yesterday I went to an A7X,Bullet for my Valentine, and Three Days Grace concert. Today I went to the races. I have had a pretty good weekend. Tomorrow I have my nieces birthday party, then I get to start packing for WA! Is it okay to feel guilty to be having so much fun without hubby? I am having this debate with myself. I so wanted him to be there with me during the concert because they are two of his favorite bands. I was bummed out but I can't let myself not have fun just because he is gone. My life has to go on also, right? I mean, I haven't had a life in over a year really since school. I am not going out and blowing all the money we have. I am being responsible and asking his opinion on most things. Sigh...

I am sleep deprived so I am going to catch some ZzzZzzzZzzzzZ's. I have another busy week ahead of me!

RN Extern Program

I got another acceptance letter today.

Now I don't know what to do.

I am making myself sick over picking one and my hubby won't help me decide.

Ugh. I hate this, I never thought I would have a hard time.

Hospital #1 is the hospital I did my clinical rotations at. I feel comfortable there. I know a few of the staff members. Although, they want you to work a full 40 hours a week, which is fine with me until my hubby gets his leave in June. I don't know if they are willing to let me off. They schedule me. I have to wear white scrubs. I will save gas.

Hospital #2 will give me the opportunity to stay with my grandma and mom this summer. It is such a NICE hospital that I could see myself working at when I graduated. They let me schedule my OWN HOURS. Taking off to see my husband for his leave is not a big deal at all, I already have it cleared with them. I will be wasting a ton of gas.

I never thought I would be so messed up by having to make this decision. I should be happy that I am badass enough to get into BOTH competitive programs. They only had enough room to accept half of the applicants. I have friends from my school that didn't get in either programs. I just had to apply to both of them in fear I wouldn't get one. I took someones spot and they won't pick another person if I drop.

Think I might go throw up now. I know it's not a big deal but I feel like it is going to be a life changing experience. Hubby and I don't know where we are going to move after graduation and deployment but either hospitals would be a good decision and there is BSN programs in both towns. Hospital #2 has a HUGE university program right at the hospital. The other hospital is a small state university so it would be cheaper...

Why do I have a type A personality. This decision is not going to kill me or determine my entire future although I feel that way right now. I hate planning my entire life out to a T.