My hubby is still in the states training, he leaves early summer. He is having a rough time, he volunteered to extend his contract for this deployment. He regrets it. I'm not going to go into to much detail just because I feel like I shouldn't, some things should stay private. He loves what he does but staying home would have been much better. We almost two months into so I have adjusted accordingly, I guess. I miss him so much though. I miss his messes he makes, and I definitely miss the "welcome home" kisses. It was a tradition, as soon as one of us got home the other walked into the kitchen to say "welcome home" by giving a kiss! Everything around here reminds me of him, I constantly think of him, in fact I still have his dirty clothes basket in the kitchen. I left it there so he could strip off his nasty muddy clothes before he tracked it all through the house.
I guess what I am trying to say is I miss him, and you never really get used to them being gone. I have done pretty good not complaining about him being gone. Even though some days I just want to scream at and choke some people.
Sometimes, I feel like the world owes me...this probably is NOT healthy. I just can't help it though. I try not to feel that way but I am going without. I have to live an entire year without my best friend.
I know, I know...
There are thousands of others feeling this way...
but this is MY blog and this is how I feel right now.
It just makes the deployment so much harder when I know how bad he hates it, he wishes he would have told the captain to shove it where the sun don't shine. The captain called in July and asked if he would be willing to extend. My husband didn't think twice about it, he called right back and said YES! It just makes me feel that much sadder, I know my husband hates every minute of it. He has his reasons. We are very proud of him and we are very patriotic but he has put in his time and it is time for us to move on. Unfortunately our orders aren't up till next spring sometime.
Gosh, I sound so whiney. I haven't broke down like this since he has been gone. I'm not having an actual "breakdown" right now but I just vented big time. I feel better getting it out. I just wish there was something I could do to make my husband feel better, he is over 1,000 miles away and I am helpless. I can't be there for him in one of the hardest parts of his life.
On to happier things....hubby and I were talking the other night and we were thinking that we *might* try to start a family sometime after his arrival home. Not to soon, but as long as I graduate and pass the NCLEX so I am licensed we have decided that what ever happens....happens.
This is exciting and scary all at once. Were not going to rush it, but I think we are both ready. We have been married two years this August, I am ONLY 19 though so it is really to soon, but....by the time I am 21 he will just be getting back and I will be licensed. I think we will wait to start trying after my 22 bday!
Totally random I know, but my husband and I have always discussed having babies later in life! Then somehow the subject got on kids the other night and he said he was ready! I was like, WHOAH! It was very funny to be precise!
Enough about my freakishly long post with NO pictures! I have to get in bed, I have school tomorrow and a 3 hour drive for my interview at hospital #2!
Wish me LUCK!
I have plenty of new pics, I need to do a post of nothing but pics one day soon!
