Friday, July 22, 2011


Here I go kicking and screaming my way into adulthood...I am officially 20. No longer a teen, I have been very mature for the last three years. Working most of it, paying bills, in school. I graduate from nursing school in around 10 months. I am shocked at all I have accomplished so far. Way to go me, I give myself a huge pat on the back!

Sunday, July 17, 2011


Since when did it become okay to post pictures on Facebook and put the camp location as the caption. I mean come on, this facebook page has posted pictures of the firing range at a specific camp in Kuwait. They have posted numerous photos of pictures of the camp itself.

Am I not right? This is breaking OPSEC? I posted on their wall asking for them to enlighten me on why this was not breaking OPSEC and they deleted my post. Not once, but three times. I have emailed the state public affairs officer for the ARNG and I will be calling him Monday.

I wouldn't have been so mad if they would have just explained it to me or gave me a reason or took the caption off, but no...I'm sure it's some wife running this page and she prob thinks that since it is just Kuwait that it is okay.

I have had several SOLDIERS and their WIVES emailing me and asking me what can be done about this page. Many of the soldiers are in Kuwait and they advised us and all of our family to stay off the page and NOT like it.

My question to the military wives out it okay to post the camp location? We were told in the 38738793 briefings that you should just stick with country, we were also told that it was okay to give a region for example, SE Afghanistan or Northern Kuwait etc. I just don't want to be in the wrong here and I have a STRONG feeling that something is going to be said to my husband about me speaking out for OPSEC. This isn't the first time that a soldier would be repreminded for something his wife do or say. It happens all the time, especially in our unit. I have a dear friend that confided in the FRG leader about her worries with her husbands pay and she went back and told his commander and he got smoked for an hour for it. I seen the original email and it was NOT rude whatsoever. I am through with the military. I am tired of all the drama that comes with. This deployment has been nothing but a pain and my husband is ashamed to be going with this unit, he is counting down till he gets out. He loved the military at one time and now they have ruined it for him. I really hope noone that I know reads my blog but I don't give a flying FU** right now. These are my feelings, and I am entitled to them.

Anyways, now that I am off that it okay to post camp locations?

Friday, July 8, 2011


Ahh. Last month I never went in to get my Depo shot because I don't really see the point of taking it while he is gone and plus I haven't had a period in roughly 3 years. That can NOT be healthy at my age. I have never had kids and we have decided to start trying once he is back and I am a licensced RN. I am excited but scared. Anyways...on to my story. Today I wake up from my nap crying for no reason, I cried when I did the dishes, I cried while cleaning the bathroom. I am just a wreck. I had no reason to be sad. Hubby did nothing to me, I just cried and I couldn't stop really. I really hope my horomones straighten out sometime soon because I cannot be dealing with this for much longer.

Also- I have a dermatologist appt on the 19th. I found a black spot on my birthmark that is on my back. I am worried about it because I always "inspect" it to make sure it's not changing shape, color, size. The doctor is going to do a biopsy of it, please say a prayer for me. I am really worried.

On to the topic of my blog entry! My birthday is on the 22 of this month! I have NO idea what I want! I always do this right around my birthday time! I told my family that I would be happy with some itunes cards. Hubby refuses to buy me anything cause he is in Kuwait and he doesn't have any idea of what I want plus he is to lazy to order it. Our anniversary is on the 1 of August and I have already ordered him a Iphone dock/alarm clock. I couldn't ship it to the APO address so I had it shipped here, once I get it I am going to stick it in his totally awesome anniversary box that I decorated!

I am just moody, emotional, and I want HIM to buy me a damn present. Is that to much to ask for? He has never bought me a present on his own besides our first Christmas we had together as a married couple. It's just irritating, like he doesn't really know my likes/dislikes. Ha, here I go with the emotions. I am going to show some pics of his box that I made for our anniversary. I think it is the best box I have ever made!

Our wedding colors were purple,
I am sure I will have a very
embarrased hubby.
It's the thought that counts though,

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Total Vent

*Warning* This is a total vent in order to keep my sanity.

A few days ago I was complaining publicly on facebook. Well, I guess I have a cousin that checks up on me. Today I found this on her wall...I hear so many spouses gripe about their military member being deployed and these wars and they can't wait until their time in the military is over. This made me wonder where we would be today if the wives of our ForeFathers had griped that they were spending too much time away home and to leave this foolishness of independence and war to someone else?
It was totally geared towards me. I sent her an email telling her how I feel. I am hurt that she thinks she knows what I DEAL with. This deployment has been nothing but heck. So MANY things have changed. He is now in a different country than he originally was supposed to go to. He has had a last minute MOS change. Blah, blah, blah.

I was so mad because I had posted on it telling her about some things I and I didn't mind him being gone because "Courtesy of the red, white, and blue our savings account was going to quadruple, and we would be sitting in Hawaii this time next year." She deleted my comment after several people went through and ran their mouths about wives like "us".
She has never once worked a day in her life, her husband has never been deployed, he has been stationed in Korea for a year but come on, we all know how Korea is. She claims to be a Christian but she passes judgement so quickly among people. I am just tired of her acting like I have to be happy all the time. I have the right to have feelings and opinions about this war and deployment. I wish I could go into more details about this but unfortunately I can't. The deployment has been screwed up since day one though. I should have known better than to agree for deployment right smack dab in the middle of nursing school! AHH. I could pull my hair out.

Here is what I posted as a note on facebook publicily for the whole friends list to view...
As a matter of fact I am proud of my husband, I appreciate everything HE sacrafices for his country and me, but I am allowed my feelings about this war and I will speak them. I am not a wife that keeps her opinions to herself like they did way back when. I am not a tree hugger by any means, but have you ever stopped and thought about what we get out of these wars? We have lost over 5,000 soldiers? Was that worth it? Not in my opinion.
On a plus note, I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me and I damn sure don't need anyones help. I can handle this on my own, I have been doing it for months now. Most people couldn't walk in my shoes for a day. Until you have been in my position and been through what I have then don't pass judgement.

Why can I not break down for just a minute? Are we expected to not have feelings? I just feel as though every civilian has been so judgemental towards me. I don't expect any help from anyone, I got this. I am doing a pretty damn good job of it to. I have cried maybe 3 times total since he has been gone. I have gone off my anxiety/depression medications in the last month and a half. I have kept up with all the bills, pluse paid off extra stuff! I don't need help and I am tired of people thinking that I do. I don't want help, I want to prove that I can do it on my own. For one, the ones that said they would be there for me have proved themselves wrong in just a few short months. No one calls and checks on me, I didn't get invited to ONE single family thing for fourth of July. His family rarely calls me, I am the one to call them usually. Do I expect them to call? Well, they should probablly call me. My husband would want that. Do I really care? yes, my feelings have been hurt some. Oh well, life goes on. Just goes to show you can't trust anyone but yourself and your spouse. (In my case, I do trust my spouse with everything I have)

I just really don't know anymore. I am in a IDGAF mood and I am tired of the world acting like I want something. I am a cheery person to be around, I don't complain to much, and I am a damn good friend! Maybe I am in the wrong for flipping out about the status but I know how she is, she aimed that directly at me.

PS I am guessing the reason why the wives didn't bitch and nag about their men being gone back in the day was because they had no voice. They took care of the house, and kids. Now us 21st century milspouses, cook,clean,pay bills, go to school,work...etc. Are we supposed to be happy hunky dory when our husbands are deployed on a unneccesary deployment? Even our senators have questioned why we are doing this?

There. I feel 100% better. Now that I have this off my chest I can talk to my husband about something other than drama the next time I get to talk to him.

Edit** Please don't think I am fine with him being away because of the money. He is making just a tad over what he was making while he was gone. He volunteered because he felt like it was his job, plus we wanted to save up money. I would rather him be home, but we started this thing and we are going to finish this thing with a good savings account and a vacation to Hawaii. I just didn't want anyone to think I was a $$ hungry wife, because believe me...the money is just not worth it in my eyes, and if it was about the money I definately wouldn't go after a cute soldier cause our military is paid just like a blue collar worker. Which is what we are and what we will always be! I was raised to work and that's what I will be doing as soon as I graduate and pass the stinkin' NCLEX! I love my man more than words can explain! I'm sure if you are a regular follower (when I actually do post), you know this by now so there is no need to explain myself!

Saturday, July 2, 2011

I Apologize, W/ Pictures

I apologize for being a horrible blogger, yet again I have fallen into the great abyss.
I have seriously had the craziest summer yet!
In May I went to Washington.
June I went to Mississippi to visit hubby.
I started the externship and have been working crazy 12's since! I have rotated through Surgery, ICU, Pre-Op, OB, and ER. I love ICU, OB, and ER the best. I would honestly work in any of these!:)
My Summer In Pictures:)
The flowers hubby got me!
I got them during my last week of school!3


Bob and Abbey

First plane ride!
Headed to Washington.

The Rockies

Mount Ranieer
This picture was taken about 2 hours away from the MT.

At McChord

Taco Shop in a old bus in Seattle/Tacoma somewhere!


My Twilight <3 Woods!
Washington State

Little Crab

Big Crab @ The Sound.

Narrows Bridge

Gig Harbor!

Gulf Port Mississippi on Pass

Us on the ferry to ship island!

Enjoying the breeze!

Ship Island was so lush and green! Very HOT though!

Showing off my new dress!

I love the colors!

Silly hubby!

Ship Island!

Ship Island Beach <3

Back at the hotel!

He always ruins a good pic ;)

Beach Front Hotel!

About to get on the jet skis!
Sorry about the quality it was taken with a disposable camera!