Deployment Details

On my last post I explained that we (hubby and I), were having a rough time with this deployment. I finally found out why, hubby told me last night that his MOS was changed, he is getting little training before he goes. It is a dangerous job in my opinion, I am scared now and I will have NO peace of mind while he is gone. He was 25U, which is a communication specialist (or something similar). I was told that I can't tell his new job, sorry for the suspense.

The main reason why I am so upset about it all is because in July when he was called to extend, the first question he asked is "Is this deployment MOS specific?" The commander said YES. This means that he would be doing HIS JOB, HIS MOS. The reason he asked this is because last deployment he did not do his job. Nothing wrong with that, but he was trained in 25U! It would be nice if that is what he got to do.

It just goes to show....

Like all things in the Army, if it is not in writing then it is subject to change.

I am through with the military and if I fail out of nursing school I BETTER come up with a better backup plan because military will no longer be an option for me.

Sorry if I offend anyone, I am not trying to. I am truly hurt by the way things are going with this deployment. There are so many things that have happened since he has been gone.

Right now I am exhausted and I just want to be a bitchy "Army wife".

My Husband

My hubby is still in the states training, he leaves early summer. He is having a rough time, he volunteered to extend his contract for this deployment. He regrets it. I'm not going to go into to much detail just because I feel like I shouldn't, some things should stay private. He loves what he does but staying home would have been much better. We almost two months into so I have adjusted accordingly, I guess. I miss him so much though. I miss his  messes he makes, and I definitely miss the "welcome home" kisses. It was a tradition, as soon as one of us got home the other walked into the kitchen to say "welcome home" by giving a kiss! Everything around here reminds me of him, I constantly think of him, in fact I still have his dirty clothes basket in the kitchen. I left it there so he could strip off his nasty muddy clothes before he tracked it all through the house.

I guess what I am trying to say is I miss him, and you never really get used to them being gone. I have done pretty good not complaining about him being gone. Even though some days I just want to scream at and choke some people.

Sometimes, I feel like the world owes me...this probably is NOT healthy. I just can't help it though. I try not to feel that way but I am going without. I have to live an entire year without my best friend.

I know, I know...

There are thousands of others feeling this way...

but this is MY blog and this is how I feel right now.

It just makes the deployment so much harder when I know how bad he hates it, he wishes he would have told the captain to shove it where the sun don't shine. The captain called in July and asked if he would be willing to extend. My husband didn't think twice about it, he called right back and said YES! It just makes me feel that much sadder, I know my husband hates every minute of it. He has his reasons. We are very proud of him and we are very patriotic but he has put in his time and it is time for us to move on. Unfortunately our orders aren't up till next spring sometime.

Gosh, I sound so whiney. I haven't broke down like this since he has been gone. I'm not having an actual "breakdown" right now but I just vented big time. I feel better getting it out. I just wish there was something I could do to make my husband feel better, he is over 1,000 miles away and I am helpless. I can't be there for him in one of the hardest parts of his life.

On to happier things....hubby and I were talking the other night and we were thinking that we *might* try to start a family sometime after his arrival home. Not to soon, but as long as I graduate and pass the NCLEX so I am licensed we have decided that what ever happens....happens.

This is exciting and scary all at once. Were not going to rush it, but I think we are both ready. We have been married two years this August, I am ONLY 19 though so it is really to soon, but....by the time I am 21 he will just be getting back and I will be licensed. I think we will wait to start trying after my 22 bday!

Totally random I know, but my husband and I have always discussed having babies later in life! Then somehow the subject got on kids the other night and he said he was ready! I was like, WHOAH! It was very funny to be precise!

Enough about my freakishly long post with NO pictures! I have to get in bed, I have school tomorrow and a 3 hour drive for my interview at hospital #2!

Wish me LUCK!
I have plenty of new pics, I need to do a post of nothing but pics one day soon!

One Interview Down-One To Go

I had my first interview today @ one of the local hospitals for the nurse extern position. There are 29 people applying and they are only taking 10-15. Whew I am nervous. The interview was pretty neat, there were about 8 RN's sitting around a table, they took turns asking questions. I had to answer, I am sure they could tell I was nervous. I did make them laugh a time or two. I told them about myself and told them that my husband was deployed. One nurse asked how long he would be gone. I told her till next spring sometime. They all got this really sad face. I said "It's okay, I have been doing pretty good without him". Every single interviewer was laughing pretty hard. One said "That just got you a few extra points!" It was pretty funny.

I hope that doesn't offend anyone, I have a weird sense of humor and telling myself I am doing okay without him helps me out! I am doing pretty good without him, I have less cleaning, less laundry, more me time, I can listen to MY music! I have to look at the glass as half full or it is going to be a llooonnngg year. Again, I hope I didn't offend anyone, I do love my husband and I would rather have him home, but there is no need for me to sit and mop around. Plus I didn't want them to think that I wouldn't be a good candidate since my husband is deployed. I didn't want them to think I would be depressed or not focused enough to work!

My next interview is tomorrow! This hospital is an hour and a half way! If I get this position I am going to have to move in my grandma for the summer so I will only be about 40 minutes away. I have to save some gas $money$! I am sure everyone of you can understand that! I drive a Honda, but gas is 3.75 here and it is getting to expensive for my little economical car!

Keep your fingers and toes crossed that I get one of them, at this point I don't care which one I get! I will be happy with either! I should know by the second week in May!

Giveaway!

I am still sick, thinking about taking a nap soon!

I am currently at 44 readers! Once I get to 50 I am going to do a giveaway! I think I will do a surprise type of giveaway. I am going to post a partial picture and who ever guesses what it is right gets an entry. I already know what I am going to giveaway, and it is partially because I love the store and if you are a girl you will love it! I don't have any guy followers so we should be a-okay! Tell your friends about me, once I get to 50 I promise I am going to do a awesome giveaway! I have been itching to do one, but I could never think of what I wanted to actually give away! I have an idea now so I will have some time to finalize it!

Definitely Sick

For sure sick, I just got back from the ER not to long ago. I have a double ear infection, Bronchitis, strep throat, and a sinus infection. I guess I am just meant to be sick. I got a shot in the hiney;). It was a steroid/antibiotic/B-12 mix. I hope I get to feeling better SOON! I have finals coming up! I am not supposed to be sick! All of the pharmacys in town were already closed so I will have to get my script filled tomorrow!

Hopefully I feel good enough to go to school tomorrow!

Sick

Started off as allergies, now I am so sick I would rather die. I have been running fever, and the stupid urgent care wouldn't take my husbands tricare. I am going to try to get in the docs tomorrow, I really hope I can cause I am sick and going to the ER is stupid for something so little. I am not about to die, even though I may feel like it.....

I have school tomorrow, an interview on Tuesday, school and another interview on Wednesday! I have a busy week and I can't afford to be sick! :(

ER

I had my last day of "med/surg" clinicals down in the ER today! We got to go because our instructors work in ER and they usually let us go one day a semester. I loved it, I can't wait till next semester when we are down there more! I love ER more than I could EVER love med/surg.

I PASSED the HARD test! I made a B but I will take it. I don't know anyone that failed so maybe we stepped it up a notch. She might have made the test a tad bit easier but I still feel proud because I studied my butt off and I knew the stuff, besides some of the dysrthymias. I still get confused on them, but I think I could take a ENTIRE semester of just EKG interpretation!

Puppy training last night was very exhausting. She was loud all night, I put her in her crate till bed time. She yelped and howled. It was so annoying. I left her in it though for a long time. I let her sleep with me at night because my husband is gone and I guess it is mostly for my comfort...hubby will have no problem with it when he gets home though. We have always loved snuggling with our babies. It is going to be weird when he gets home to a brand new dog, he only met her for a few days when he came in for leave, she was so little then she slept all the time! Now she is playful and she likes to nibble on everything!

I swear I will post pictures soon!

I bought a new shirt today for my interview @ the hospital next week! I intended on buying a whole new outfit but I could only fit a BIG size and I refused to pay $32 for a pair of slack capris I was only going to wear three times at the most, plus I don't plan on being able to fit them by the end of the summer. I am so cheap but with how much I spend in gas each week I have to be, plus we are saving to buy a house!

Ahh...I need to pull the camera out and take some pictures! I have a four day weekend and I am going home to spend some time with my family, I am determined to get some pictures this weekend!

Puppy Training

Okay, so I got a puppy after get rid of Ashley. She is a basset hound, I read up on them but I did NOT remember how hard it was raising a puppy. She has been to the vet and everything is fine..but....she can be outside for hours then come straight in and go pee. She is backwards. Anyone have any pointers? I am starting to get very annoyed. I am about to leave her in her crate a lot more if it doesn't stop.

My Pug Bob has occasional accidents but I blame them on myself mostly, if I take a nap he sometimes has an accident. I don't punish him though because it is my fault for not letting him out BEFORE I take a nap. I have never had so much trouble house training a dog.

HELP PLEASE:)

Silence

I wish I could take comfort in this picture, today is way to quite for me to handle though. It makes me miss my husband that much more. I am tired of studying, I am tired of sitting in this empty house, I am tired of only talking to dogs, I am tired of answering myself, I am tired of freaking out when I hear my voice for the first time in hours, I am tired of being super overly excited when the phone rings, I am just tired of this deployment. Our orders practically just started and we still have over 370 days till his orders for this deployment end. 

Shoot.

My year is going to suck.

I start working out again tomorrow! I am pretty excited, I have gained more weight back and now I currently weigh more than I started out as.  Shhh. Don't tell! I am going to get back on my "deployment goals" pretty soon! I promise, I am holding myself accountable for them.

Bad Bad Student

I have been a horrible student, I just realized that I forgot to take one of my unit exams by the due date. It is an online class. I have a 95% in the class but a zero on a test is going to hurt. Especially when the test is worth 10% of my grade. I emailed the teacher, hopefully she reopens it and lets me take it. I can't believe I forgot, my school website never sent me the update about it being open either so I partly blame it on that.

I am taking a break from studying right now, I am about to eat some cereal then get back to it. I have my cardiac test tomorrow and I am sort of freakin' out. I have most of it down, but this teachers tests are extremely hard. Over half the class seriously failed her last one, and I am not even kidding. She said she felt really bad, but I don't believe her because she was being a smart ass about it in class. She is currently head over the education dept at a hospital. She does all the continuing education for the hospital. She needs to realize that we aren't RN's. The people she teaches at the hospital already have their licenses.

I am not being a sissy about this teacher either, she is hard. Even our nurse practitioner teacher said her test was hard and she wasn't to positive that she would be able to pass.

Now that is bad. I think that we should make the director of the program take the test to she how well she does! Maybe that would make them realize something isn't right when HALF of the class fails.

Okay, off my hard test "soapbox".

I really want to do a giveaway sometime soon. Any suggestions?
When I hit 50 readers I will do a giveaway, then when I hit 100 readers I will do an awesome giveaway!
I think I am currently at 43 readers. I understand that it takes awhile to build your readers.
& It is definitely not about how many readers you have. I would rather have 10 loyal readers that actually care about my crappy life. I want people that actually read 85% of the time and someone that can pass some words of wisdom on my way.

I love each and every one of you, y'all have no idea how much your comments mean to me. I know that I have a support system. Having a support system right now is one of the most important things to me at this point in my life.

 I am being tested, and I have to stay strong.

Scentsy

Today as ordering my mother's day presents I almost hit the button to join. I want to become a Scentsy consultant so bad. Every single time I get remotely close to giving in I talk my self out of it at the last minute. I want to do it, but I am scared that I won't be good at it or I will regret doing it. Honestly, I am scared of commitment. I have already given up my entire life to nursing school, if I sell Scentsy I feel like I won't have much time for anything. I have become addicted to Scentsy since I ordered my first warmer and my first bar of Jumpin' Jelly Bean! I seriously think I might give in as soon as I am out of school for the summer!  Who sells Scentsy? How do you like it? How well does it fit into your family lifestyle?

Julie the Army Wife has decided to give away a FULL size Cherry Blossom warmer and the newest scent Flutter. I must admit, I find this warmer to be so darn cute! Flutter smells really good, I have a bar but I still haven't burned it because I am hooked to Jumpin' Jelly Bean! Go over and follow her blog, then read some of her stuff! Then try to win this cutesy little warmer and scent!

Tornado Alley-April 14,2011

Yesterday I spent over half of the day in and out of the cellar. Yes, we all know what this means for Oklahoma?! Spring has finally made it's grande entrance! Yay!

Not say yay really, as we were going to get in the cellar for what seemed like the millionth time, I got a very important phone call. My husbands sister had lost everything. Her whole home was flattened besides two bedrooms, they lost their boat, the new truck, their travel trailer. Thankfully no one got hurt in our family. Please pray for the town of Tushka, Oklahoma. Two lives were taken and several are in critical condition. I will get some pictures if I decide to go down this weekend to help them clean up. Hopefully clean up can start soon, they are having to wait until the insurance man looks at the property. Here is a video that shows pretty good detail.

On the other hand, I passed my venipuncture returns! I got blood! WHOOHOO!

Again, Please pray for the entire community of Atoka and Tushka Oklahoma, many people have lost everything.

Blog Makeover Giveaway

JG over @ Me and My SoldierMan is giving away a free blog giveaway from Crafty Hippo Designs. This is a good giveaway, if your anything like me you are dying to have your shabby ole' blog redone! I always talk about it but I never think about doing it really, I get so caught up in school and home life that getting a blog makeover is the last thing on my mind. She has a few simple things that will give you extra entries! Go head over there, follow her and read her blog! She is very entertaining and if you like puppies she sure has some cute ones.

To enter:

• Describe what kind of theme or color scheme you'd like your new blog design to be in the comments below - 1 entry
• Be a follower - 1 entry

Bonus entries:

• Blog about this giveaway - 5 entries
• Twitter about the giveaway - 3 entries
• Share the giveaway on facebook - 2 entries

Soup Kitchen-Clinical Assignment

Ahh, I have a huge cardiac test on Monday and this stuff is just not clicking at all still. I absolutely hate cardiac, even more than renal. I have clinical nearly all day tomorrow, then I have to do my clinical assignment. Right after  clinical I have to head to a different town over two hours away to go eat at the soup kitchen. The soup kitchen is an assignment that I should have done a long time ago but I kept putting it off due to spending time with the hubby before deployment. It is one of the dumbest "assignments" ever. I am ready for clinicals to be over with already.

I just got done paying some bills and setting up an automatic transfer from our checking to savings each month, since hubby is deployed we plan on saving some serious cash to buy a home. It's crazy to think I am 19 and already saving to buy a home. Most of the friends I went to HS with are still living at home off their parents with no job to help out.

Oh the joys of being mature! I always think way to far ahead in my life.

Girls Day

I am soon taking a break from the books for a few hours, I am picking my 7y/o niece up from school. We are having a girls day. I am taking her to get our toes done together, we are going to go out to eat, then to the car wash 'cause my car is filthy! Our final stop will be Walmart! I bet she is going to be excited, I am surprising her. She just loves it when she gets our nails done, she is normally such a boots and mud kind of girl but I am teaching her young that it is okay to be girly!

Maybe I will remember to get some pictures for y'all!

Interview

I just got a call from the hospital!

I got an interview for the nurse extern position I applied for! 


I am so excited, now I must go shopping for some clothes!

My interview is the 26th of this month. I hope I get it, I will get some much needed skills this summer. Then by fall hopefully I will be a step ahead of the game!

Exhausted

I just overslept for my nursing class. I feel horrible because we only have two days of lecture left before I have to take my big cardiac exam. I am in such a funk and I can't seem to snap out of it. Nursing school has officially broken me down. I guess it is time for me to get on studying all day, I don't have clinicals tomorrow either so I can catch up tomorrow also.  I am so mentally exhausted, I am worn out and if summer doesn't come quick I don't know what I am going to do.

If you believe in prayer please pray for me. I need it right about now.

I Am Alive

I repeat: I am still alive.

Life has been CRAZY.

HECTIC.

I need a breather.
Tomorrow I am doing more homework & studying.
Cleaning needs to be done, and my pug has a dog training session.

I feel like my head is spinning all the time, I feel like I am sometimes drowning,
although....
I can see light at the end of the tunnel.
This semester is coming to an end very soon.
three more tests, then a mid-curricular exam{which is a BIG deal}.

I have applied @ two hospitals for the summer nurse extern program. I should know by the second week of May if I got accepted into one. I might end up moving for the summer, it just depends on the hospital I get into to. If I move I will be gone for roughly 8-10 weeks, I will be staying at my grandmas..this means if I can't find an internet provider to allow me to get service w/out a contract I will be going ALL summer without internet, unless I take the laptop to a wifi "hotspot" in town.

I have a few pictures to upload from me and my hubby saying "see ya later"...but, I just realized I am on the desktop...the pictures are on the laptop. I am to tired to get on the laptop. It is almost 1am here.

25 Random Facts

I have seen a lot of people do this so I guess I will give it a shot, my blog entries are mostly bitchy.

1. If you are a reader of mine you already know I love my dogs to death and back. I have had a lot of problems lately, Bob is the only original I still have. I recently got him a basset hound to have as a playmate.
2. Some days I wish I would have went to be a veterinarian. 
3. Working with animals is better than humans in my opinion.
4. I am terrified of grasshoppers.
5. I seem to have some sort of social disorder, it is getting worse the longer I don't have a life due to nursing school.
6. I really would love to go blow some major money and take a vacation to Hawaii, or even move there.
7. I met my husband while walking my dog. 
8. Avenged Sevenfold is my favorite band, they are rock and I really like country also.
9. I grind my teeth at night while having nightmares of losing them.
10. Losing my teeth is the biggest fear I have in life, it terrifies me to think about breaking one, chipping one, etc. 
11. I was cringing while thinking about and writing number 10.
12. I hate doing laundry with a passion, although the last week I have kept up with it really good.
13. My niece and nephew serve a functional purpose to me. You ask what that may be?
14. They are my birth control, when I get baby fever I call my sisinlaw and ask to babysit, that fixes me for at least another couple of months.
15. I have always wanted to be a vegetarian but I have never done it, I get grossed out by eating meats. 
16. I stole and wrecked my moms car when I was 14. Yeah, it was stupid of me. 
17. I hate the house I live in with a passion.
18. Right now I can see my Army Scentsy warmer.
19. That reminds me to buy some new scents.
20. Talking about myself seems to be harder than imagined.
21. I go to a community college, graduating in May 2012. Then planning on going back to a university to get my BSN.
22. I haven't taken all of the required classes for a BSN, so that means at least one more full time semester before I could even apply.
23. After graduating I plan on going back and becoming either a Nurse Practitioner, or a Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist. 
24. As you can tell school is the ONLY thing I have going for me.
25. After I graduate I get to move out of this HELL HOLE!