Deployment 2011

Where to begin.....
Hubby has started the first part of his journey for the deployment. He is headed to his training base. He will train for a few months then head to "somewhere" in Afghanistan sometime in the summer. Today was hard, they say it gets easier and I sort of believe it now. I remember in 2008 after leave when he walked through the terminal to get on the plane. Now that day was hard. My heart literally shattered in to a million pieces that day, or so I think. Today was nothing like that, I went with him {of course I had to cause my car needs new tires immediately in order to not have a blow out, so we drove his truck}, I waited for him while they issued him a weapon. While waiting, his friend Sargent C asked how I was doing. He then told me he couldn't wait to get back from Afghanistan because by the time he gets back his daughter was going to be walking. That tore my heart up. I feel so sorry for people that leave children behind and miss out on so much. When hubby came back with his weapon I told him I better go. He walked me out to the truck, we kissed, we hugged {for a long time, we kissed again. He wiped away a few of my tears, told me he would see me later. I then got in the truck and left. I of course had to call my mom because I did start crying a little harder once he was out of my sight. It was a sad cry but I wasn't hysterical, if that makes sense. I had it together. We have known since July, and some days I repeated it over and over to myself. "Hubby is getting deployed,hubby is getting deployed,hubby is getting deployed. {Okay, you get the picture}I feel like I had enough time to "mentally" prepare. 

My mirror is dirty.
This was me on our last night.

We were getting ready to head to the armory
to
drop him off.

Kiss<3
I will love this man for ever.
He makes my heart melt,
if you read this baby
I am here waiting on you!

God Speed!

Pray for the 45th infantry brigade 

of Oklahoma.

Update

Hubby and I took his mom out to a movie last night. We seen Hall Pass, I must admit it was hilarious. It was very dirty and it had some pretty graphic scenes though. We went because it was a "comedy", I must admit I was laughing so hard through the entire movie, I might have peed myself a little! These are a few pictures we got. I need to be better about taking more photos. I am hoping to get a new Nikon soon so I can mail hubby the camera to Afghan in order for him to capture some moments.

Hubby and his mom,
she is awesome
and
I could not have been blessed with a better
mother-in-law.

Yes, I have a muffin top. How do y'all like the red hair?

I hate the way the pics are to big but I wanted y'all to be able to see my red hair better.

Hope y'all like.

I have been okay today, it started off good till hubby started packing, we realized we forgot stuff so we had to make a trip to wal-mart. We had a fish-fry at his dads, said our good-byes. Now he has a friend over saying good-bye. It's funny how everyone wants to spend so much time with him now, but during the year they never have anything to do with us. *sigh* I'm not complaining but I just find it ironic, I have always heard that everyone comes out of the woodwork and it is true. Sometimes I wish we were active and lived on post so nobody had to pretend to give a flip. It also wouldn't make good-byes so hard. I'd rather just get it over with instead of being repeatedly reminded. Anyways, enough about my rant.

I have a tried to get caught up on blogs some, it has been in-between helping hubby pack and what not. I will catch up soon. 

Good night everyone. Love y'all!

MIA

I feel like I have not blogged nearly as much as I should, or kept updated on you! I promise I will soon.
I am spending the last few moments together with hubby. He leaves really really soon. I will post again after he leaves, you will know when he is gone. I will be back in full force, hopefully blogging about some interesting stuff.
Goodnight y'all, I have to fold some laundry then take a shower. I have school tomorrow!

Stye Cure? {EDIT}

I woke up yesterday with a stye, it wasn't bad at all. It was annoying, as the day progressed it got worse. I woke up this morning to a stye so big. My eye is nearly half way swollen shut. I have tried everything, I have tried warm compresses and tea bags mostly. It felt good while doing it but right after I take the warmth off it hurts worse than before. I tried calling my NP to see if she would call me in some ointment or eye drops but she wants to see me before, well she has NO openings all week. Great. Now I am in pain, with a swollen itchy eye.

I was hoping one of you might have a secret trick?
I get styes every now and then, it seems that I get them after crying A LOT. This time it was right after studying a lot and crying a lot. My eyes were under a lot of strain.
I'm not looking for a miracle cure, I just want some relief.


EDIT***
I ended up going to an optometrist. He said that medications were not going to work because what I have isn't a typical stye. Mine is really deep in the tissue. He did lance a small opening and got some puss out, I can still feel a lot more puss though. In fact I have a hard ball at the very top on my inner eye ball. Yeah, it's gross. I hope it goes down tonight, I have school tomorrow. He told me to use hot wash clothes for 5 minute intervals then try to push down on the eye lid to release more puss. Gross. I should have been an optometrist though, it was pretty neat and I have a thing for popping pimples/blackheads, well I take that back, I should have been a dermatologist! Time to go put a hot rag on and squeeze some more puss out of my eyelid.
Sorry if this made anyone puke! I don't really have a weak stomach, thank God.

I PASSED! {Edit}

This post is not meant to brag. I passed, I barely passed but I still passed.
I feel tons better after taking that test, it was hard and it was heavy on the nutrition part for renal disorders. Weird.
I passed barely, but I am very happy because over half of our class didn't do to hot on it.
Our teacher for this unit is very old, and she is NOT a good teacher anymore, it is hard to follow her.
Wednesday we start a new unit {pulmonary}, with a different {better} teacher!

EDIT***
I just looked online at my grades and I ended up with an 85%. I don't know if I got in to big of a rush this morning when grading, or if they gave us a few questions cause they felt they weren't fair.
Whatever it was oh well. I am super excited and I studied my tush off for this!

In Need of Prayers

I need to get back in the groove of blogging regularly. I will once hubby leaves, promise.
This whole blog post today is about me in need of some serious prayers {if you pray}, if not cross every digit on your body and wish me good luck. I am taking the renal exam tomorrow. It is heavy on fluids and electrolytes of course, they were not learned so easy on my part. I struggled. I still struggle with them but I am getting the hang. I will post tomorrow hopefully with good news about my test.
I will be pretty busy the rest of the week with a care plan that is due on Wednesday, a Pulmonary Medication quiz, and the "goodbyes, I'll see ya laters".

This whole deployment thing is growing on me, I am just trying to stay strong until hubby leaves, I want to save the tears for private time. I don't want him to see how sad it really makes me because he told me the other day he is excited about this deployment and I feel like if I am to big of a cry baby I will ruin everything for him. He is excited and I don't want to rain on his parade. {I think thats the right saying?}

Good night bloggers, I love every single one of you! I have to get some brain rest before this big exam. It's worth 10% of my grade! YIKES!

Deployment Ceremony 2

The deployment ceremony ended up being good. There were so many people there! It was an awesome turn out. Lets just say the Sergeant that sang the national anthem was a million times better than Christina Aguilera;)
No offense to any Christina fans, I do like her, just not that day.
Anyways here are some pics, I didn't get to many and I don't want to bore y'all.

I present to you 

the 45th Infantry Brigade 

Farewell Ceremony

This is our Governor Mary Fallin

I ended up having to take pics on the screen because there were so many people! Some of them aren't that great but you get the idea.

Deployment Ceremony

The statewide deployment ceremony is tomorrow. I have decided to go for sure. My husbands entire family is going,{well, the important ones are}I am going to go with them. There are three people that are going to be missing school tomorrow for the same reason. We have a volunteer that is going to take notes and send them our way. In return we are going to split the price and buy a bath and body work gift card for the note taker! I have been flip flopping on this for a few weeks now, but I am going to go. This is the biggest deployment for OK since the Korean war. It is kind of a big deal. There is expected to be over 20,000 people attend. I am excited about it, sort of. I feel like this will be a way for me to accept the deployment more and sort of know it is real and it is coming. It is coming soon. Here shortly I will be doing everything alone, living alone, sleeping alone, eating alone, watching Grey's Anatomy alone.

This week has been rough, I have been waking up every night for the past three nights to horrible nightmares. They consist of me being in Afghanistan with my hubby and we are fighting in real combat. The dreams seem so real to me. They never end well. I guess they consist of my worst nightmares. I wish they would stop. I am tired of crying over something thats not real.

I have to get back to babysitting my nephew now. He is 15 months old now and he is a handful and a half!:) He is carrying my broom around the house. I caught him eating dog food earlier! Whoops.....

Valentines Day

Now I know that Valentines day is a lame commercialized holiday and you shouldn't just give gifts this one day but I am going to post what we did and what we got for the day!

Hubby and I ate a nice lunch at a bbq place in the next town over today for lunch, he is working this evening so we had no choice really. I don't have school tomorrow though, so I am planning on watching a movie tonight and sleeping in tomorrow!

We haven't got our gifts yet because we ordered them online. I should get mine tomorrow and he will be getting his sometime before he leaves hopefully. We had problems with being overcharged on rangerjoes.com because there was a problem with shipping to PO Boxes. It was confusing, but it was not their fault at all, hubby didn't see that they couldn't do the express shipping to post office boxes, we got over charged cause they had to switch to slower shipping. Rangerjoes.com handle the matter awesomely! {Like me made up word!?}

I got the zebra top 

with the "full coverage" bottoms on the right! 

Hubby got very practical items. New pt gear, a new awesome $40.00 flashlight, knife sharpener, socks, undies. He got over $170.00 worth of stuff, although none of it was super cool. It is just stuff he needs for the deployment, since OK national guard is broke and won't issue him any new stuff. 

What did you give and receive?

Did you and your S/O do anything or have any plans?

Rant of the Day

Finds it very annoying that some people never talk to us {call us or text to see how we are doing,or ever answer the phone when we call}. X amount of days before my husband leaves someone texts and says you need to drive down to my house so we can visit and you can visit the kids his neices and nephews. I am sorry but she lives an hour away. We are limited on cash and it's not fair that someone can go ALL freaking year without calling or answering a phone call, but she expects us to drop what we are doing to go to her house. I am so sick of doing this crap, last deployment on leave we drove EVERYWHERE to see everyone. We are sick of it being one way. If people want to visit him before he leaves they need to come see him at our house. For one, we have we are going to go three weeks without a paycheck and so we can't really afford to drive to see everyone!

Now she is trying to play the "come see your niece and nephew card. Ugh.

I might add that this is the sister that told me on Christmas Eve 09' {we were already married} that if he got deployed again she was going to be his power of attorney and if anything happened to him she was going to get the money and I wouldn't see any. Are you kidding me? I will never forget that she said that. If she thinks my husband is an idiot she is wrong, he took me less than a week after getting married to change everything and get me life insurance. I haven't told her that every thing has been changed to me but how can I when she won't even answer the phone when we call.

I am tired of being run over by his family. This is going to be a crazy year without him.
His mom already got butt hurt, because I said from the looks of it they were only going to be able to make two phone calls a month. She said "so that means he is going to call you every time?"
I just want to burst, I love his mom but I am his wife, I have to stress over all the bills, I am the one that is in charge of our house while he is gone. I don't know if I am completely wrong about all this but hubby feels the same way.


EDIT* 
One of my husbands friends just came over and was bragging about buying a $800 four-wheeler. He is on TANF, doesn't have a job, has two kids, gets food stamps. Yet it is okay for him to spend his tax refund stupidly on an Iphone 4,XBOX,Four-wheeler, etc.
Perfect example of why the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.
Stupid people. While the OK national guard is demoting people left and right in order to save money, these people can go blow their entire refund on stupid JUNK! Everything they brag about buying is tomorrows garage sale junk.


I am not in a good mood today, I need to take my medication.

Must Watch

It is hilarious!

Oh, I dyed my hair burgandy! Ha, I still don't know what to think about it. I will try to remember to post pics to get some opinions. I needed a change. I was bored with life.

I am in a better mood today. My mom brought my brother down to stay with us for a week so he can spend time with hubby. She is staying the night also! I miss her so much all the time. She is one of my bff's ever. 

Good night y'all, and thanks for cheering me up about my last post. I will comment back soon, I promise. I have been spending time with family, hubby has the whole weekend off so I will be hanging out with him in between study sessions!

Have an amazing weekend!

Fail

Where to begin...
I just failed my medication quiz. It was overly hard, the teacher pulled some questions out of her ass, obviously she is doing something wrong because the entire class failed. I am so mad at myself, but I studied hard. I knew the drugs. This is the first time I have ever failed. I use the term "fail" loosely because I made a 65%, but anything under a 75% is failing in nursing. Yay me, I failed my first assignment in my student nursing career. I feel like such a tard. I am a good student, that makes good grades. I don't aim for perfection but geez a 65% is horrible.


The sad part is I thought I was doing good. I thought I had the majority of the questions right. Some were tricky with 2 or 3 possible answers. I had enough time to answer them all, I wasn't rushed but still I failed.
I am not going to let this get me down, but this makes me that much more scared about the Renal exam. I am more than likely not going to my husbands deployment ceremony. Bad wife, I know. I have other priorities, school is important. I have to get my RN. I know my husband will understand, in fact, he is telling me NOT to go. So please don't be negative. He is a soldier, but I am not letting the term "military wife" be the one and only thing that defines me. I can't always let the military win, I am dying to have the title RN one day soon.{Wow,  this is a post for another day}.


I want to cry, but honestly I don't even know how to anymore. The past two days have been rough with the deployment coming up so closely. I am so numb to everything right now.
I hope y'all have had a wonderful week, and an even better weekend that is coming up so quickly! Sorry this post is so sad. Hopefully I have happier ones to come!

I feel like I may go barf now.

School and Clinical Update

School was cancelled again today. Surprise, surprise. I have two more school days till we take our test over Renal, we have not had one single lecture over it. I am having to teach myself, and boy the snow couldn't have picked a better time to come. NOT. I am so tired of sitting at home. The teachers are bogging us down with busy work that is taking time away from studying and trying to learn the material. I also have to miss a day next week because of the deployment ceremony. Not cool, it's the review day before the test. Hubby is trying to get me not to go to the ceremony because he isn't going to be able to ride with me, and it is boring because a bunch of people talk about unnecessary things. I don't blame him for trying to talk me out of it, but I can't be the "bad wife" that doesn't attend. It just wouldn't be right. I know deep down inside that he will need my support.

I guess I am trying to say I am prepared to fail the Renal exam.

On a brighter note,
clinicals went well yesterday. I didn't get to do anything fun and my patient was rather boring because she was very independent and needed little help. She had a total knee replacement. I practically just gave meds all day and flushed her saline lock.

I have been on the computer for hours now doing homework, so I am going to sign off for the night and relax some. Good night y'all!

Med/Surg

As you all know, I had med/surg clinicals today. I hated them, again. My hate for med/surg was stronger today then it has been. My patient was fine, I didn't really get to do anything new today. I got to flush her saline lock, I got to watch her IV being changed to a saline lock. My patient had a total knee replacement, she was very independent. She refused AM care so I literally had nothing to do for a long time.

Some days I really wonder what I am doing with nursing, I am just waiting for some specialty area to come and hit me in the face telling me that was what I was made for! I hate med/surg. Every time it is worse than the time before, I feel like med-surg isn't fast paced enough but I know that is wrong. I only take care of one patient right now! Something about that floor just isn't the fun and exciting that I need, I could see myself on that floor maybe years down the road but right now {after school}, I think I want to be somewhere where all the "stuff" happens. I know half the day we spent down in the ER was fun, and I am excited about going back there. The more I think about L&D I get excited also, I always said I would NEVER work in L&D, but I think that I might change my mind!

I am trying not to get to down about med/surg. I know some people love it, and it really isn't a bad floor. I have just found it to be a bad experience for me that last few times. I am sure it doesn't help any that I get 4 hours of sleep the night before, so I am so tired the day of clinicals. I will be taking tylenol pm next week.

Clinicals and Advice Needed

Finally got to go back to school today! Whoohoo! Lecture wasn't all that great though, the teacher couldn't seem to stay on track and some sentences took her at least five minutes to get out!

Tomorrow is my first day back at clinicals. I am doing Med-Surg tomorrow. I am not to fond of Med-Surg, but I will suck it up and move on. The worst part is going to be waking up at 0400 and not getting out of clinicals till after 1630, plus I have an hour drive home. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.

Hopefully after clinicals I will have a chance to update about my day. I hope I get to see something tomorrow other than the usual, not to wish death on anyone but working a code would be fun. I still haven't got to do it, I doubt I would be able to even move! haha! I just want something to do other than assissting elderly go to the bathroom,pick out their food for the next day,and do all of their A.M care. { I am already a CNA, I have worked as one for 2 weeks shy of one year} I might sound bad but I want to do some skills I have been taught to do, I am eager to learn!

How was your first code? Were you scared?

Your advice is needed: I have only received one flu shot during my entire life. I am debating on getting one since I am doing work in a hospital right smack dab in the middle of Flu season. I did work in a nursing home last year and I didn't get sick other than a minor cold here and there, or a 24 hour bug. What are y'alls opinions on the Flu shot? I am going to be a nurse so I know I should be all vaccined out, but honestly the flu shot scares me for some reason, I guess I need to grow up and do my research.

Coach Purse Giveaway!

Ladies, Megan over at Mackey Madness is giving away a Coach purse! It is pink and brown. She has been wanting to do a give-away for awhile but could never decide what she wanted to giveaway, until her husband thought that maybe she could give away the purse that her ex bought her! Haha! Husbands are so funny in their own ways.

Megan is an awesome nurse that has helped me out some, she has a pretty neat blog so you should follow her and check out what goes on in her life!:)

In order to apply for the give-away you have to be a follow of hers. For one entry leave her a comment stating why you love blogging so much. For two extra entries blog about it on your page!

It is slightly used, she said she has used it about 3 times. 

It is a coach purse, and if you are anything like me I can't afford one!

{My husband is a tight wad that saves and nursing school nickels and dimes me} 

haha.

Go follow her! 

She is pure awesome! 

Nursing Books Galore

I just entered my first give-away! 

The give away is tomorrow though!

 I tried to look at it a few days ago but it wasn't loading right and I just got back around the computer! I am pretty excited about the giveaway! So excited I might pee if I win. 

See, I keep EVERY single book that has to do with my major(nursing).

 I plan on keeping them all even after I graduate,to put in a home office that I hope to have. I plan on going further, getting my BSN, then becoming a nurse practitioner or a CRNA. 

Anyways, I bet you want to know who is doing this awesome giveaway and what the giveaway is?!

Head over and give Julie@When Your Feet Don't Touch The Ground a visit to check out this give-away. Tomorrow is the last day though! Sorry, I would have posted sooner if I hadn't had problems viewing it.

These little nifty books are awesome, she doesn't need them anymore and she is giving them away to spare them from the trash can! These books are over 40.00 on amazon.com, this is a steal!

Random Picture Day

Since I am snowed in and cannot possibly look at another piece of homework for even a tenth of a second, I have decided to upload some random pictures. Some are old, some are newer.

Us counter protesting at a funeral of an American Soldier, The Westboro Baptist Church{CULT} is under the big tree to the right of the church steeple. If you haven't heard of the Westboro Baptist Church click here to read about them.  You can also read more about the protest here. Britney @ These Talking Walls and I met up at the protest. 

The snow in my yard today. Don't mind the can of corn, there were stray dogs digging in my trash and hubby failed to pick up that one can. lol

The artwork on the school wall, where my niece attends. 

Me showing off, and my pug is being a creep.
Jan 2011

I lost ten pounds so I was flaunting it, trust me I have gained it ALL back I am sure!

I love bulldogs ♥

Me picking up sea shells at Corpus Christie last year. 

My pretty Pit Bull
2009

Haha. Old Cheerleading picture.
2006? I believe. 

Leave from Iraq.
Summer of 2008

Riding in my friends Old School Cadillac, haha.
2008

Hubby at the lake.
2009

Me and my grandpa.
He had Lougherig's Disease.
I miss him and love him. ♥

Snow man my hubby made
2010

Me and my brother in law and our huge snowman.
2010

Me
Last winter.

Our first trip to the zoo as a couple.
2009

.