Anyways,
One of my teachers came up to me today and asked when my husband left out. I told her it was coming up pretty quickly. She told me if I needed any time off that the program would understand. I felt so relieved that I know they support me. I didn't know how it was going to be. I don't want time off necessarily but I would like to have the day off to send him away and watch him load the buses. I don't know why but I feel like it will help me cope. I also might need the day after he leaves off. I might just be an emotional wreck that day. I have so many emotions running through my head right now, I feel like just crying and screaming but I am pretty numb to it all. We have known since JULY that he was going. Yes, we were lucky and knew 7 months prior. I have gotten used to the idea of being alone, but I know it will probably hit me hard when he leaves. I have only broken down once or twice since we found out. I keep telling myself over and over that he is getting deployed hoping that saying it to myself will make me get a grip on the reality that is coming very soon. I doubt any of it helps but I am trying!
On to something else,
About my diet. I haven't exactly been following it like I should. I have eaten "bad stuff" for the last two days. I haven't worked out cause I have been so exhausted from school work. I don't know how this is going to go now that school has started back up. I plan on working out at least 3-5 times a week but I seriously never have time to work out. I really want to lose this weight, everyone told me it is going to be super hard doing it while in school, and now I am beginning to believe them. I can do it but I doubt I will lose the weight as fast as I want. I am going to have to start packing my lunch I think. Eating out 3-5 times a week is going to kill my belly and my wallet.
Anyways if you have made it through this entire post I applaud you! It was super long but I never have the chance to write anymore. So I thought I would update you about everything while I had the chance! I have to go study for that dosage exam now! Good night everyone!
It's great that your school is so understanding. I can't tell you how many times I've been asked "you mean, your husband is STILL gone" or "he must be coming home soon, right"?
ReplyDeleteFrustrating.
As for the weight loss, don't be so hard on yourself. Deployment plus nursing school isn't easy. I wanted to lose weight, but after a couple weeks I gave up; too much stress that I didn't need.
Weird thing is that once I stopped trying I started losing. Crazy! I just didn't have time to eat! Weird how that happens. I still have quite a bit to go, but it was a nice jumpstart.
Everyone is different, but one of the best things for me was to work the day and weekend after my fiance deployed. I do wish work did not prevent me from seeing him off. However working the weekend after was great bc I was too busy to think. Plus I had supportiveoworkers near me instead of being alone. By the end if the weekend (aka 2 days after he left) I was okay with him gone bc I realized all my distractions could help! Plus it feels good to help others when one is down. Major mood boost!
ReplyDeleteThanks Just Another MilSpouse, I hope the weight just comes off but I am a stress eater! I love food!
ReplyDeleteJulie, I want to work but I live like 45+miles to civilization, it wouldn't benefit me to work. I work one day a week at a nursing home 15 miles from my house but I hate it, I want to work at a hospital but its an hour drive to any of the good ones! :( I think I am going to live at school practically, I have gotten close to some of the girls in school also and they told me that I can come stay with them,that sounds good to me! I will need a chance to get away from being "alone".
Thanks for the comments yall!:)
When hubby left, I was happy to go right back to school the very next day. I'd have gone that afternoon if I had a class, too. I just like to get right back to being normal... no time to dwell just up and into a routine.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about the test, I am sure you will do great. My program started with 60 people in my class last Jan 2010, and this Jan 2011 we have 45 left. It sucks, but nursing school is hard and people either don't pass, or they have personal issues they need to take care of. I like to call it boot camp for nurses.
Loosing weight in nursing school is HARD. I've lost 20, but it hasn't been without a great effort. 2 semesters ago, I started using weight watchers... it's been the best thing. It's easy, I can eat anywhere, and it helps me manage my portions in a way that doesn't take time away from school. You should check it out. :)
I ate terrible in nursing school! It's so time consuming and stressful!!
ReplyDelete